Prelude!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

All human beings want to love, connect, and enjoy different experiences together with other human beings;

either they happen to be single, or divorced, or widowed, they all want to bond and find a partner to share their life with. 

Online dating is modern and easy, but you must choose the right sites according to your age.

Online dating can be really dangerous, if you do not know the most suitable way to handle it in order to protect yourself.

 

Many people, and especially women, are afraid that they may have to live alone forever;

so they turn to online dating, and if someone responds positively they feel needed and appreciated again. 

Unfortunately, many times they fall victims of deceit, deception, and perhaps, even blackmail.  

Consequently, you do have to be extremely aware, and very clever and alert, in order to protect yourself, no matter what they say to you.

 

 

Modus Operandi

 

Online dating takes a lot of hard and careful work, and it needs to be very well planned and organised in the most proper way.

Before you start anything online, make a written list with all the following details:

a)          Your short term and long term targets and goals.

b)          Your very personal values, principles, and beliefs.

c)          Your personal influences in life:

Your parents and relatives, the church you belong to, the society, etc.

d)          Your personal choices in life:

Your work, your housing arrangements, the city or country of living, etc.

e)          Examine and analyse your personal preferences:     

Single life or in a relationship, either long term or short term.

f)           Your expectations from the other person:     

Drinking, smoking, entertainment, education, financial status. 

 

Now, create your profile which must be reasonably short, clearly and correctly written, and to the exact point. 

Only mention the vital information necessary, and place a few recent pictures of yourself.

At the same time, maintain your real life connections. 

Adopt the following recommendations:

1)          Date people only close to your own area of living.

2)          Keep your emails clear and short, and write only a few.

3)          Avoid speaking on the telephone or other means more than a couple of times, and try not to be too long.

4)          Arrange to meet the person in  couple of weeks or so. 

5)          Check online the person’s profile as well as any other information relating to them. 

****          Examine carefully their pictures, the background and where they are taken.

****          The person’s face and expressions. 

****          Are they alone in the pictures, or together with other people.

****          The person’s body and skin for any tattoos.

6)          Read through all the details in their profile, and ask them for more explanations.

****          Is there anything missing.

****          What is vague, ambiguous, unclear, and dubious.

****          Are there grammar mistakes.  

****          Do you notice any humour, kindness, excitement, friendliness, and good feelings. 

7)          Before your first ever call do the following:

Put on some make up, an attractive top, keep on smiling, and show interest.  

8)          Do enjoy the connection, flirt, laugh, and have fun;

but do not have any high expectations at any time.

 

When you reach the stage to meet, do as follows:

a)          Arrange to meet ONLY in a large public place, and go alone.

b)          Do not give them your private telephone number, and your address details.

c)          Do not reveal any very personal details:

Your health details, your financial situation, family details.

d)          Always pay attention to the warning signals.

****          Too aggressive, selfish, sharp, and hard. 

****          Asking for money.

****          Telling you sad stories about their life.

****          Asking you personal information.

****          Hiding things from you. 

e)          If you find you do not fit well, just pay the bill and walk away.

f)          If you find you fit well, still, take it slowly so that you can find out their real character.

g)          If you want to take even further, you can employ a detective to investigate them.

 

Also, always be very careful and aware of all the Safe Dating tips on the sites you pursue.

Finally, keep in your mind that:

(1)          Rejection is always a part of the online dating.

(2)          There is NEVER any guarantee for anything.

 

Take control of your own life.

 

 

 

 

The Union!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

If you are already in middle age, and you have been married for a good number of years, you will be already very aware that you are not the same person now as when you got married those years back. 

Now you are a more mature person, you have many more life experiences, and your marriage has gone through different stages during the years;

that is, from when you were trying to control and change each other, to finally accept your spouse as he or she actually is.

Certainly, over the years you have already started living and doing everything automatically, without thinking, or even realising you are doing them at all.

 

But the worst thing of all, is that you have stopped interacting tenderly, thoughtfully, affectionately, and respectfully with your husband or wife. 

Finally, you start blaming other people, or different situations for your negative attitude, and your unpleasant and unacceptable behaviour.

Definitely, life always presents various challenges, and difficult and problematic situations, but all these should never be your excuses in order to behave in improper and offensive ways to your spouse, at any time. 

 

 

In The Works

 

If you are going through a problematic marriage, with many and different complications, you may think that the only solution is to divorce your spouse, in order to improve your life.

Unfortunately for you, divorcing your spouse is not going to solve your problems   —   only because you are not addressing the real issues, but ONLY accusing the other person of the situation. 

Definitely, there are occasions when your spouse is neglecting you, he or she is indifferent and ignores you, and also, he or she pursues their own personal interests away from you without caring what is happening to you   —   in which case, most probably, your marriage is actually finished, and a divorce is the unavoidable and only solution.

 

But usually, the situation is not so serious like that.

In this case, you do need to consider that the fault lies on both partners, and each of them is partly responsible for this problematic situation   —   because nobody is perfect in life.

Consequently, you have to examine very carefully, and search deeply inside you the way you act every day.

Perhaps during the years, your own behaviour and attitude have not been the right ones towards your spouse:

****          You may be using bad language.

****          You may be using insulting expressions.

****          You may be taking specific negative actions.

****          You may be using abusive, degrading, and offensive remarks.

****          You may have become aggressive.

The final result is, that you DO NOT RESPECT your other half any more as a human being.

 

Analyse yourself and your behaviour in every detail, and consider everything really carefully and thoroughly.

Take all the necessary steps IMMEDIATELY, in order to save your marriage before it is too late.

 

 

 

Devotion!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

Total and absolute Love means caring for someone without having any expectations.

As we grow old, we usually feel more confident, and we become more decisive, understanding, and considerate;

as well as warm-hearted and thankful towards the other people, their personality, and their different characteristics.

 

Total and absolute Love is a really deep-rooted and everlasting relationship, where both individuals are free to grow as human beings.

In a couple relationship, they both have very similar beliefs about life, as well as sharing similar principles and mindset.

 

 

Do The Honours

 

To cultivate absolute Love, you must be as follows: 

****          Really unselfish and generous.

****          Truly kind and giving.

****          Listening and accepting to a high degree.

****          Noticeably considerate and understanding.

****          Deeply sympathetic and forgiving.

****          Really happy for their successes and achievements.

****          Greatly joyful and truthfully pleased being with them. 

****          Sincerely have tender feelings.

 

It is certainly a fact, that the more you Love a person unconditionally and completely, the more satisfied and happy you will be.

An Intimate relationship is when you and your partner are both genuine, reliable, trustworthy, and you accept each other as you both are.

 

A Committed relationship is when you and your partner are really honest, and you do support and stand with each other;      you are thoroughly satisfied, you feel tender and deep love, and you believe in each other.

Also note, that in an Intimate and Committed relationship, sexuality can be shown in any way possible  —   and this is perfectly alright, and even excellent.

 

Since the relationship is so deep, it can exist even without the romantic side at all   —  but still, you can consider ways in order to enhance it, reinforce it further, and make it more intense. 

Cherish, nurture, treasure, and hold really dear a relationship like that, because it will always enhance and improve, not only your every day life, but also your general health and overall wellbeing.    

 

 

 

Valentine!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

A good number of adult men and women live alone   —   this is because, either they never married, or they are separated, or they are divorced, or they are widowed.

Most of these adult people wonder whether it is worth pursuing a serious relationship at this stage of their life, or continue living alone till the end of their life.

 

Certainly, finding romance in middle age and beyond is not an easy and comfortable pursuit for the following reasons:

****          They have already been disappointed and distressed.

****          They have tried it before without any success.

****          They are already focused only on their own personal life.

****          They do not trust and believe in other people.

****          They do not even like the other people.

****          They feel too liberated, self-reliant, independent, and totally free.

 

Obviously, for all the people in middle age and beyond, romance has a different meaning than that for the young people.

These people are not looking to create home and family anymore;      they want to enjoy same interests and views in life, as well as having enjoyment, laughter and fun together.

They want somebody they can trust, believe in, respect, as well as recognition, and appreciation.

 

 

Positive Approach

 

If you are convinced, and flexible, feel ready, and open to various possibilities, then take steps in order to find romance.

There are many ways to approach this, as follows:

a)          You can join various groups of your choice, like, walking, hiking, dining, painting, travelling, or even photography, and meet somebody you like there. 

b)          You can approach people you already know, or just remember from the past, in the many different social media.

c)          You can tell your friends, family members, and other acquaintances that you wish to develop a serious relationship.

d)          You can meet people in various community organisations.

e)          You can meet people while going for a walk in the park or the beach.

f)          Finally, you can pursue on line dating by visiting the relevant sites. 

 

Single Men in middle age and beyond want a gentle, warm, and loving woman, who will accept them for who and how they are, appreciate them, support them, inspire and reassure them.

On the other hand, they will try to keep the woman safe, protect, cherish, and help her, and make her feel really happy.

 

Single Women in middle age and beyond want a man they can trust, they can share similar interests, passions, and laughs, and he can make them happy.

Most interested people, in general, do feel confident that they will be able to find romance if they pursued it properly.

 

Be fearless, positive, self-confident, flexible, and very open to various possibilities coming to your life.

Find love again   —   or perhaps for the first time. 

 

 

Quintessential!

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

.………. Lex and Illa are together for as long as they can remember.
Both professional middle aged people now, they live in a beautiful house in the country.

That cold April evening, Illa was relaxing in her usual comfortable seat by the window, reading her favourite book.
Suddenly, she heard the front door opening;
immediately she recognised the sound of the keys, and knew it was Lex returning from his work.

He removed his coat and outside shoes, and walked towards her.
Lex gave his wife a sweet kiss, to which she responded by kissing him back, and smiled.

There was an aromatic smell all over the house coming from the kitchen;
“ I guess dinner is ready “, he said with a smile.
“ I can smell and guess, that tonight we are having something very exciting. 
Tell me!  What is it? “
He asked feeling really enthusiastic and eager.

“ Tonight we have your favourite   —   duck breasts with a choice of your best vegetables “, she replied.
“ Fantastic!  I can’t wait “, he said, and went on to prepare himself for dinner.

Illa got up from her arm chair, went to the kitchen, and started setting the table and preparing the dinner.
They sat together, relaxed and pleased as they always did for the last twenty five years now, discussing the events of the day.

 

 

Pie-In-The-Sky

 

In today’s modern world, finding the right relationship is a very tricky business, and the most important one for your future life.

Certainly, you will always know that you are in the ideal relationship, because you will always be feeling safe and secure, as well as joyous, happy, and peaceful.

On the other hand, if you happen to be in the wrong relationship, you will always be feeling miserable, ignored, neglected, lonely, insecure, and totally unhappy.

Here are the most important signs indicating to you, that you have the correct relationship.

a)          You have a strong attraction, you feel excited being with him or her, and you enjoy everything you do together, feeling nice and safe at all times.

b)          You both have similar personalities, want all similar things, and you do compliment well each other.

c)          You realise, that nobody is perfect in this life, and you accept his or her specific peculiarities and characteristics.

d)          You discuss and agree on all financial issues and goals, savings, and retirement;
as well as sharing your own budgets.

e)          You have a friendly and understanding relationship with each other’s genetic families.

f)         You both are able to handle any problems, misunderstandings, arguments, and disagreements in the right productive way, so that you can always stay close together.

g)          You are spending enough time together doing the things you both like, even if this is only shopping in the super market.

h)          You can both have various interests you want to pursue separately, without feeling pressed, or stressed, or troubled, during your pursuits.

i)          You both stay true to yourselves, and who you really are as human beings, without trying to change each other.

j)          You always work as a team, no matter what you do.
You are always able to communicate on all issues, leading to a strong relationship between yourselves.

k)          You both get inspired by each other’s interests and passions, and feel excited and motivated to pursue a new goal.

l)          You both feel passionate, eager, excited, and enthusiastic about your life in the future together.

m)         You are able to keep each other’s privacy, and other personal issues safe and private.
You respect and really value each other.

n)          You never play unpleasant games with each other, like:

—          being jealous,

—          avoid talking,

—          feeling insecure,

—          using sex,

—          feeling hurt,

—          being dishonest.

o)          You tell each other you love them often, and show them your feelings with specific deeds, on a daily basis.

p)          You never allow other people, whoever they are, to control and handle your relationship issues, and other problems for you.
You are the only one, who must do this.

 

 

Up For Grabs

 

On the other hand, if you notice the following signs in your relationship, then definitely you need to move on.

1)          You are always under pressure to change yourself, and your mind, in order to fit in.

2)          There is discomfort, and hostility between yourself and your partner’s genetic family.

3)          There are continuous fights and arguments between you and your partner.

4)          There is complete lack of communication between you both.

5)          Your partner is literally stuck on you.
He has no other interests, passions, and concerns in his life apart from you;
and this is causing extreme pressure.

6)          You always feel bored, tired, and drained being with him or her.

7)          Your sexual chemistry is conflicting, and totally unsuitable.

8)          Your partner’s priorities are completely wrong, and he or she is totally irresponsible, and unreliable.

9)          You are staying in the relationship only because of convenience, comfort, or just because you do not want to be alone  in life.

10)         You are always thinking of other people, no matter what happens between you both.

11)         You have different interests, passions, dreams, and goals. 

12)         This relationship is not contributing anything to you as a human being.
You are not growing and developing as a person.

13)         Your concerns and necessities are always dismissed, ignored, and eliminated.
Your partner never listens and cares for you.

14)         You are actually afraid of your partner, his reactions, and responses to you, at all times.

15)         You do not ever feel yourself.
Your partner is never interested in who you really are as a person.

16)         You are not attracted to your partner any more.

17)         Your family and friends are very worried about you, and your situation. 

Always remember, that you can never force a relationship to work.
This only comes naturally.

If all the signs are wrong, as mentioned above, you do need to end it, and move on with your life, finding another partner who can make you feel good, safe, complete, and generally happy.

 

 

 

Principium!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

“ I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams ”.

Cien Sonetos De Amor   

1959   Santiago

Pablo Neruda

904  –  1973

 

 

Brand Name

 

As we all know, nothing in life is perfect;
and the same goes about intimate relationships.

As simple human beings, not only we all make mistakes, misjudge, and misunderstand a person or a situation;
but also we never appreciate and recognise the worth of what we have, until we have finally lost it.

A strong, loving relationship can make you feel complete, full of life, happy, contented, fulfilled, and greatly satisfied.

A healthy, stable, and lasting relationship is only based on equality, mutual respect, deep love ,and understanding.

You should always treat the other person as you would want to be treated yourself by them.

Here are the most important characteristics of an ideal romantic relationship:

a)          Both parties are responsible for their own actions, and always they mean what they say.

b)          They are able to communicate about all issues, and find the best and most suitable solutions together.

c)          They are willing to understand each other’s opinions and views, and negotiate as necessary.

d)          They discuss and share all financial matters between them, and ensure that they both benefit from all agreements and decisions.

e)          They are aware of each other’s needs, they use humour, and they do many things together, while maintaining their sense of self at the same time.

 

 

f)          They value and respect their relationship, as well as each other, feeling secure, and comfortable between them.

g)          They support, accept, and rely on each other;
and they discuss their thoughts and feelings in a positive way.

h)          They show affection by holding hands, kissing, and embracing;
and they feel physically connected.

i)          They feel strong and optimistic about their future together, due to their love, friendship, dedication, commitment and closeness;
in thought, in word, and in deed.

j)          Certainly, they share similar beliefs and values, and they trust each other fully.

k)          They are patient and forgiving, accepting their mistakes without being selfish.

l)          They use kind and affectionate words, as well as  compliments and praises between them when they speak.

 

 

The Key Points

 

The following are some vital actions for you to consider, if you want to sustain a happy and long lasting intimate relationship.

1)          You need to appreciate, that in order to have a healthy relationship, you will always have to work hard and put a lot of effort to it.

2)          You certainly have to convey your thoughts and needs to your partner clearly.
Otherwise, he or she will never be able to understand you, because nobody can guess what is in anybody else’s mind.

3)          Make absolutely clear from the beginning what you want from your relationship, in order to avoid any misunderstandings later.

4)          You must always recognise, that your partner can not satisfy all your demands;
and you should never press him or her to change in order to do so.
You will need to accept the reality of the situation, if you want your relationship to be successful.

5)          Always expect, that sometimes you will have to negotiate on any differences between your partner and yourself.

6)          Always remember, that you do not have to agree on all issues, in order to show respect, recognition, and appreciation.
Just accept the situation as it presents itself.

7)          Always, look each other in the eye, and listen carefully when you talk.

You communicate your love with actions   —   and not only words.

You will know, that your love is real and lasting only when you feel safe, secure, confident, protected, satisfied, and totally positive.

Lifelong  and eternal love will give meaning to your life, and make it worth living.

 

 

 

 

Cornerstone!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

………. Davi was a middle aged man, who had quit his well paid job in order to become an author.
He had been living alone in his beautiful apartment, for some time now.

Davi was a very happy man, enjoying his quiet life.
” I’ve been living alone for the last fifteen years now, and I truly rejoice in my independence.
I can wake up and take my breakfast every morning any time I like, I can go to bed every night whenever I wish, I can talk to whoever I choose;
and I can certainly pursue my interests and passions “,
he said smiling happily.

Davi had decided to live alone the rest of his life, and enjoy all the advantages this had to offer him.
His whole attitude to life was helping him to feel very excited about everything.

He was the king of his castle;
and he did not even have a dog, or any other pet, to keep him company.
It was him, his computer, and his mobile.
Absolute freedom   —   and a huge fun experience ……….

 

 

” No one saves us but ourselves.
No one can and no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path “

Siddhartha Gautama

c. 563/480 BC  –  c. 483/400 BC

 

The word “ Alone “ has different meanings, and a number of implications, not necessarily positive.
For many people being alone means negative things altogether.

Yet, nowadays more people increasingly, easily prefer to live alone   —   especially adult and older women.
Actually, it seems that living alone may be one of the most pleasant experiences one can have.

Also, in our today’s society most people have become egocentric, caring only about themselves;
their need to be free and totally flexible in their life, without bothering about greater issues.

Obviously, since human beings are social animals, they enjoy being in the company of other people, for the many benefits and pleasures this has to offer.

Being alone can offer a quantity of surprising advantages.
But, although embracing solitude can be very enriching and beneficial to your health;
certainly, at the same time, you have to be extremely careful not to go to extremes.

Because, too much isolation will definitely have negative repercussions to your physical and mental health.

 

 

The Gold Bricks

 

Here are the disadvantages of living alone:

1)          You can develop self-critical and fault finding thoughts, that make you feel you are a loser and a failure;
so, you do not belong to be around other people.

2)          You can start feeling lonely and socially isolated, leading to anxiety and depression.

3)          You can start neglecting your physical health:      by adopting an unhealthy diet, by leading a sedentary lifestyle, and by living in a dirty environment;
and this will certainly lead to a shorter life.

4)          You can start feeling the lack of company, and begin to be seriously bored.
This distressing state of mind will force you to start seeking the company of other people, whoever, in order to feel more comfortable.

5)          You can feel insecure and unsafe, in general;
and especially whenever you are sick, or you need to see a doctor, or if you have a sudden illness, and there is no one to help and support you.

6)          You do not have anyone to help you with your every day house chores and other tasks, inside and outside the house.

7)          You have no one to talk and share your fears, laughs, feelings, and emotions;
and this will contribute to overuse of the telephone and the internet, with various consequences.

 

 

Primrose Path

 

Enjoying living alone is a habit that can be learnt;
and you can be totally happy, and actually take pleasure in solitude.

Adopt the following steps, so that you can start loving living alone:

a)          Start by feeling comfortable being alone.

b)          Develop a positive mental attitude, and have an optimistic viewpoint.

c)          Reflect on yourself, and your whole life, by considering and acknowledging your goals.

d)          Do not be critical, demanding, analytical, or looking for perfection.

e)          Live your life as you would if you had company.
Do all the same things, like:      eating out, going to the cinema, or theatre, etc.   —   but alone.

f)          Walk in nature, listen to the music, take any sport you like, or attend to plants and flowers.

g)          If you do need some interaction, get a pet.

h)          Use social media to connect with the other people, and share interests.

i)          Develop various activities, and different hobbies:      read, write, learn, blog, draw, paint, play computer games, or start any craft projects.

j)          Talk to the various people you meet every day, either you know them or not.

 

 

Good Fortune

 

The following are the main benefits of living alone:

a)          Time alone will give you the opportunity to clear and refresh your mind, reflect and realise who you really are and what you want from your life;
and make better decisions accordingly.

b)         You will be able to concentrate and focus more efficiently to your work, becoming more creative and more productive.

c)          You will certainly feel more independent and absolutely free to do all the things you want, whenever you wish;
you will be able to develop your own personal routines.

d)          You will find that you enjoy all your relationships much more, and appreciate all the advantages you get from them.

e)          As the time goes, you will be feeling more confident, self-assured, satisfied, and positive about living alone;
and you will learn to trust your instincts.

f)          You will know, that you are responsible only for yourself, and that the only person’s happiness you will need to worry is your own.

g)          You will definitely have all the time to relax and feel at peace, without any external distractions.

h)          You will be able to develop a great variety of friends, acquaintances, and other contacts;
as a consequence, you will be feeling more comfortable, and connected.

i)          You will have total and absolute control over your own life, on your own terms, in your own privacy,
without interference or intervention.

 

 

End Of The Line

 

Remember, it is absolutely vital for you to know the difference between healthy and negative time alone.

You do need to feel creative, reflective, pleased, fulfilled, and happy altogether.
You do need to find the right balance, in order to enjoy your life.

Never Forget:     

Being Alone does not mean Being Lonely, which is a completely different and sickening thing.

 

” In Solitude the mind gains strength, and learns to lean upon itself “.

Laurence Sterne

1713  –  1768

” Seclusion is the price of greatness “

Paramahansa Yogananda

1893  –  1952