The Doctrine!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

………. Last week I met my friend Anji for tea, and again we discussed the burning issue of dating at an older age.
Anji is a divorced woman in her fifties, who does not wish to remain single all her life.

At the same time, she has learnt over the years to see men as competition and rivalry.
As a consequence, she has always had great difficulty developing, and holding a good relationship.

“ I do believe you need to change your attitude radically, if you want to find a partner for yourself “, I said to her, and continued;
“ You must make your man feel as if he is in control;
he does need to feel strong and powerful.
So, try to be caring and loving to him.
As I see, until now your manner has been pushing all the men you meet away “.

She looked at me feeling very sceptical, but she promised to reconsider her beliefs and behaviour, and let me know the results soon ……..

 

 

One On One

 

It is known that a number of middle aged people wish to stay stuck in their past, and relive their failures, due to their complete inability to handle and control their emotions and fears.

But, most people in middle age are very interested in finding romance, and developing a loving relationship, in a very similar way to the younger generations.

Although dating can be a daunting experience at any age, if you are above the age of fifty (50) years old, this is extra challenging.

According to research, as far as women is concerned, most singles worry about dating a man, who either is in poor health, or someone who is in financial need.

Also, another issue they consider is the man’s physical appearance, which is the first thing that will bring them together in the first place.

On the other side, most men want to find a much younger and good looking woman for themselves.
Certainly all these issues come in different degrees, and they should be considered very carefully if both sides really want to find love.

The first step though, before you even start dating, is to know yourself   —   indeed who you really are, and what exactly you want in your life.
Your total attitude will need to be changed, in order to fit your current circumstances.

 

 

Take Heart

 

There is a significant difference between young people dating, and grown up people dating.
Older individuals are much more experienced, they already know who they are and what they want, and they will not be prepared to waste their time with games.

Now, there are some things you will need to forget about, if you do want to find love again, as follows:

a)          The old fashioned idea, that the man must always make the first move.
As an experienced adult person you should already know how, when, and where to approach a man.

b)          Your youthful years of very high expectations.
Realise, that there will never be a perfect man, or a perfect woman for you;
that is, a very attractive and beautiful person with plenty of money.
What really matters is the person’s character with a reasonable background.
So, lower your standards and be realistic.

c)          The outdated belief, that people must accept you exactly as you are.
Understand, that if you want to attract people in your life you do need to look after yourself physically and emotionally, as well as taking good care of your appearance.  

d)          All about your past experiences, either they were good or bad.
Every person is different, and you must always give them the benefit of the doubt   —   Never compare.

 

 

Inside Information

 

Here is some useful advice for you to follow, when going on your first grown up date:

1)          Have no expectations at all, at this stage.
Have a positive attitude, feel alive and optimistic.

2)          Arrange to meet at a comfortable and cosy public place for a drink.

3)          Dress smartly and comfortably to suit the occasion.
Try to look your absolute best.

4)          Wear a light make up on your face, mascara, and lipstick.
Remember to look after your hair style, too.

5)          Feel relaxed and confident, be likeable and charming.
Have and show humour.
Always, make eye contact and be a flirt.

6)          Be kind, loving, intelligent, strong, gentle, feminine, and smile genuinely.
Be a person who can give and receive.

7)          Keep the conversation simple, easy, refreshing, and interesting.
Search for common passions, like:      books, films, hobbies, and foods.

 

 

A Thou-Shalt-Not

 

Make certain you do not do any of the following.

Avoid completely and absolutely:

1)          Disclosing your personal financial situation, at any time.

2)          Sharing details about your family history.
Only mention quickly if you have any children, and forget all about your previous circumstances.

3)          Disclosing information about your medical history, at any time.

4)          Exhibiting any personal achievements, as well as any other very private information.

5)          Being critical, superficial, frivolous, irrational, and bossy.

6)          Unloading all your emotional, and mental issues to the other person, at any time.

7)          Drinking alcohol more than necessary.

8)          Having any kind of sexual relations, until there is some emotional attachment.

 

 

Watering Hole

 

It is absolutely improbable that the right person will ever come to search for you.
Therefore, you do have to get out into the world.

Here are some suggestions for you to follow when you are out there:

a)          If you like travelling, start this as a hobby.

b)          If you like sports, register with a sports club.

c)          If you want to learn a specific skill, register in a class.

d)          Go to various events, like:      Museums, Bookstores, Theatres or Galleries, and speak to people.

e)          Sit in coffee shops and talk to the regulars casually.

f)          If you like animals, buy a dog and walk in the park.

g)          Join a group of your choice, like:      Hiking, Walking, Art, Photography, Dining, Cooking, or Music.

h)          Register in a Gym, or a Leisure Club, or a Country Club.

i)           Ask your friends whether they can introduce anyone to you.

j)          Finally, register with various online dating sites.

Always remember, that you can still flirt just as well as the young individuals.
Do not forget, that all people want all the same things:

****          to be loved,

****          to be appreciated,

****          to be accepted and valued,

****          to be respected and complimented.

Finding romance in middle age and above is really tough.

If you do want to develop a good permanent relationship:     

Act Young, Feel Confident, Make the Connection, Be Flexible and Let your Man be the Star.

Seeking a romantic partner is only a game   —   Play it well ……

Happy Dating !!!