Tag Archive | understanding

Backbone!

 

Hi there!

 

Bo was working in his office this afternoon when he
received an email from his colleague asking him for
assistance with his project.

As soon as he read this he felt resentful immediately,
since he knew that on the one hand he wanted to
help him, but on the other this would entail extra
time and effort for him.

Thinking more about it, he did not want to accept
this obligation, because it meant he would have to
stay in the office late, and neglect part of his own
commitments.

I have no reason to accept this other than being
helpful to a colleague, something which I can’t
afford to do at the moment he thought.

I have to say No to you this time, because I’m
extremely busy at present and I have no time
to spare for more work.
But I can recommend Jos to you, who will be pleased
to help you with your project .

Bo decided, and replied to his colleague without any
further delay.

Immediately he felt relieved and ready to continue
with his own business.

 

Yellow Flowers

 

Will Power

 

Most people dislike to say NO because they want to
help and be nice to the other person.
But saying yes all or most of the time entails a lot
of unpleasant consequences like,
    loss of valuable time,
    waste a huge amount of mental energy,
*     a great amount of pressure.

All of these result in physical and mental exhaustion.
Yet people find it so very hard to say NO.
This is happening because of many reasons like,
*     they want to avoid any arguments,
*     they want to be polite,
*     they want to fit in with the others,
*     they want to maintain good relationships,
*     they feel guilty if they do not help.

But if you really want to create your own life and
pursue your goals, you do need to be in full
control of all situations around you.

Learning to say NO is the greatest reward you can
give to yourself.
In order to be able to do so, you will need to become
decisive, confident and assertive  —  but at the same
time you must be calm and polite.

Being assertive means you must convey your message,
and at the same time to listen to the other person.
It means sharing and appreciating others.

When you manage this you will increase your
self-confidence, you will become more understanding,
you will improve your self-image and finally you
will achieve very much more.

 

Red Leafs

 

Primary Element

 

Before you decide and turn down any demands
and requests from other people, you need to
evaluate the situation.

Here are the steps you need to take:

a)     Take your time to think all requests made on
you before giving any answer.
Say you will let them know as soon as possible.
Study the demands and make certain they will
fit your own obligations and commitments.

b)     Analyze your priorities, and decide whether
the new engagement is of any significance, relevance
or magnitude to you.
If you find it is of no consequence to you, just ignore it.

c)     Consider the time length the new engagement
will need to be completed.
If it is long term, disregard it, because it will be adding
more stress on you.

d)     Refuse immediately any demand or request,
which makes you feel guilty if you do not do it.
If you accept something under these circumstances
you will feel pressed, stressed, anxious and eventually
really sick.

 

Shrubs

 

Guiding Light

 

There is no perfect way to say NO, and there is also no
way you can ever control the other person’s feelings
and reactions.

The following advice is how to do this best:

a)     Know your value as a person and have the right
attitude, independence and energy.

b)     Stand in a power pose, look calm and assertive,
and be fast and polite.

c)     Communicate your NO decision clearly and firmly,
using simple words.
Do not complicate and over-explain things.

d)     Offer an alternative solution to show your good
will and to meet half way.

e)     If at all possible and you really want to help,
offer a lesser commitment.

Do not forget, you are responsible only for
yourself,
and not for any other person’s feelings
and actions
towards you.

Nothing is perfect, including humans.
Use any criticism for your own growth.

Remember, you can not please everybody.
Never lose your self-worth.

Enjoy the long term benefits of saying NO.

 

 

 

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Wealthy Liaisons!

 

Hi there!

 

“I’ve been invited to a modern art exhibition
tomorrow evening” Bo said smiling.
“You already know I find modern art really
very boring”Izzy replied.

“This is a very useful contact for my job — so
you understand,I do need to go ” he said,
“and I want you to come with me”.
Once again she started feeling very pressed
and stressed.

On the one hand she didn’t want to do something
she didn’t enjoy knowingly she would be
continuously under pressure.

On the other she knew she had to support
her loving partner.
She gave him a soft kiss and agreed to
give him her help and support.

 

BlackRed_Couple Dancing_Tight 

 

Euphoria

 

A successful relationship needs flexibility
and much consideration.
It also needs a lot of love and hard
work in order to make it last.

 

Never take your partner for granted
because it will backfire at some point.
Because men and women consider
romance in different ways you must
study your partner carefully in order
to understand how to behave in a given
moment, and so to achieve long
lasting happiness.

 

 Sitting_WeddingKissing_Wedding

 

Eternal Bliss

 

As long as we live we continue learning.
Here are some guidelines which I have
learnt from personal experience and after
researching the subject of joy between couples.

 

1)    Respect each other, and be always

   generous and honest.

2)    Give your partner support and help

   when needed.

3)    Show your appreciation and admiration,

   and compliment them often.

4)    Accept what your partner loves, desires

   and dreams.

5)    Know which issues are not acceptable for

   discussion and avoid them.

6)    Know when your partner needs to relax

   and be affectionate.

 

MadeForEachOther Hands_behind

 

7)    Recognise when they are listening to what

   you say or they are just being there.

8)    Know when you have a valid disagreement

   and when you must abandon and leave.

9)    Learn not to argue aggressively but discuss

   the issue clearly to find the solution.

10)  Always say “sorry” when you know you are wrong.

11)  Accept you do not know everything about

   your partner.

   Ask to learn, and Ask to get.

   Do not expect them to guess what you have

   in your mind.

12)  Make time for each other to relax, play and feel good.