“ The secret of change is to focus all of your
energy, not on fighting the old, but
on building the new “.
c. 470 – 399 BC
“ It is not the strongest of the species that survives,
nor the most intelligent, but
the one most responsive to change “.
Charles Robert Darwin
1809 – 1882
“ The world as we have created it,
is a process of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing
our thinking “.
1879 – 1955
Change takes place in life constantly;
and we as human beings have to face it
no matter what.
Certainly, it is each individual’s personal
choice whether he/she will fight against
it or embrace it.
Obviously, since change will happen
regardless, the best approach for you is
to find different and effective techniques
to deal with it.
This is the only way for you to take control
of your life, as well as learning and growing
as a person.
Change is frightening, shocking, distressing
and very upsetting;
but if you welcome it consciously, then you
will benefit and prosper.
One of the most challenging changes that
happen in our life, is the one relating to our
health and appearance, as the years pass.
Certainly, there is nothing we can do about
this extremely distressing fact of ageing;
consequently, we must accept it and move
It all depends on your understanding and
the way you feel, your overall attitude, as
well as your experiences.
We have two kinds of change in life:
a) The Unexpected Change
This change happens due to unpredicted,
surprising and unanticipated circumstances
like, serious illness, divorce, loss of a job.
This kind of change is a natural part of
our every day life, since nothing is endless
and for always — this is life.
Any unforeseen change can be extremely
difficult and very challenging;
but if it is thought carefully and without under
any psychological influences, it can lead to
a totally new and rewarding life.
Otherwise, any steps you take will fail
and you will have to suffer the uncomfortable
and unpleasant consequences of going
back to where you started.
The advantages and benefits of the
unexpected changes are the following:
1) Although at the beginning, you will
feel as if everything in your life is lost,
as soon as you consider the new situation
cautiously, most likely, you will find that
there are lots of rewards waiting for you.
2) The circumstances of the event will
press you to grow and develop, emotionally
and physically, having to change yourself
and your current life.
3) It will be a new opportunity, and a new
beginning for you to change your perspective,
attitude, hopes and beliefs.
4) You will become stronger and more
determined, more flexible and resilient,
more courageous and brave;
because you will definitely have to move
forward with your life.
5) It will open the doors for a more
interesting and exciting life, offering you
various exhilarating experiences.
Because of all the above mentioned benefits
you need to stay open-minded, embrace
the unexpected change, and rebuild your life.
The Adaptation Process
The following suggestions will help you
embrace unexpected change, and deal with it
in a peaceful and successful way.
a) Realise that nothing lasts forever.
Everything is temporary — and this is a
fact of life you have to accept.
This is the reality of things, so you must
not expect or demand something more.
b) Be always prepared for unexpected
changes in your life.
# be an optimistic, fearless and brave person;
# develop a strong desire to learn different
# learn to use your imagination;
# feel grateful for everything you have in your
# be flexible with your decisions.
Your whole life depends on your own personal
handling of all subsequent changes.
c) Think of all major changes in your life
until now, and how you handled them.
Find any similarities and your subsequent
actions, in order to be able to deal with the
Now find different and better ways to handle
this new change, so that you can add more
interest and excitement.
d) Acknowledge that this new change will
bring you new possibilities and hopes, that will
benefit your future life.
Consider and understand the situation calmly,
fearlessly and with no prejudice;
then think of it long term.
e) Have reasonable, sensible and realistic
Keep your mind under control, and take the
most effective positive action to remedy this
f) Treat change as a teacher, and learn
from the experience.
This will help you become a wiser, stronger
and more courageous person.
Also, you will grow and change, adapting
yourself to new prospects and a new purpose.
The second kind of change is,
b) The Planned Change
This change happens because you thought,
designed, decided and initiated it;
so you should be well prepared to handle it
to your advantage.
This change is taking place because you want
to improve or redesign specific parts of
your current life.
In this case, you must stay focused without
worrying about the short term results — but
only your final goal.
You must be very willing to follow your plan,
even if it proves to be difficult and uncomfortable;
or even if you have to deal with certain
problems and complications.
You will need to be responsible, patient,
motivated and dedicated to your goal at
You must think positively and believe
Also, you must never try to make any
quick changes to many areas in your
life immediately and at the same time;
because you will need a long period to adjust
and familiarise yourself with the new situation
You should always remember that if
you really want to change your life, you
must change your own mentality and
The Adaptation Exercise
The following steps will guide you to gain
the best advantage from the change you
have already planned.
a) Be absolutely certain about the change
you want to make, either it is relating to
your way of life, place of living, change to your
relationships or to yourself personally.
Also, establish and determine the consequences
this change will bring to your future life.
b) Consider very carefully all challenges
in your way:
– personal psychology,
– your general environment,
– other people in your life,
– lack of knowledge of the subject.
Understand all the problems and complications
you will probably have to face;
proceed with your change only if you feel
confident, positive, relaxed and certain.
c) Write down a detailed plan describing
all the changing steps you need to take to
reach your goal:
* your mind set and attitude,
* your current lifestyle,
* your current surroundings,
* your relationships,
* your current job.
d) Put down a target time and date for
your change to be completed.
Doing so will motivate you to work harder,
more efficiently and productively.
e) Be responsible, persistent, always in control,
tireless, determined, and keep a positive
mental attitude all the way.
Change can be very difficult, stressful and
But if you open your door and welcome it,
you will soon realise how precious and
beautiful it proves to be.
You will see yourself experiencing different
interesting things, learning and growing
as a person.
You will become more understanding,
considerate and sympathetic towards
yourself and the others.
You will feel powerful, fearless and
and at the same time, you will be more
relaxed, calm and peaceful.
Change is not your enemy;
but a good friend to embrace and move