Tag Archive | Confidence

Backbone!

 

Hi there!

 

Bo was working in his office this afternoon when he
received an email from his colleague asking him for
assistance with his project.

As soon as he read this he felt resentful immediately,
since he knew that on the one hand he wanted to
help him, but on the other this would entail extra
time and effort for him.

Thinking more about it, he did not want to accept
this obligation, because it meant he would have to
stay in the office late, and neglect part of his own
commitments.

I have no reason to accept this other than being
helpful to a colleague, something which I can’t
afford to do at the moment he thought.

I have to say No to you this time, because I’m
extremely busy at present and I have no time
to spare for more work.
But I can recommend Jos to you, who will be pleased
to help you with your project .

Bo decided, and replied to his colleague without any
further delay.

Immediately he felt relieved and ready to continue
with his own business.

 

Yellow Flowers

 

Will Power

 

Most people dislike to say NO because they want to
help and be nice to the other person.
But saying yes all or most of the time entails a lot
of unpleasant consequences like,
    loss of valuable time,
    waste a huge amount of mental energy,
*     a great amount of pressure.

All of these result in physical and mental exhaustion.
Yet people find it so very hard to say NO.
This is happening because of many reasons like,
*     they want to avoid any arguments,
*     they want to be polite,
*     they want to fit in with the others,
*     they want to maintain good relationships,
*     they feel guilty if they do not help.

But if you really want to create your own life and
pursue your goals, you do need to be in full
control of all situations around you.

Learning to say NO is the greatest reward you can
give to yourself.
In order to be able to do so, you will need to become
decisive, confident and assertive  —  but at the same
time you must be calm and polite.

Being assertive means you must convey your message,
and at the same time to listen to the other person.
It means sharing and appreciating others.

When you manage this you will increase your
self-confidence, you will become more understanding,
you will improve your self-image and finally you
will achieve very much more.

 

Red Leafs

 

Primary Element

 

Before you decide and turn down any demands
and requests from other people, you need to
evaluate the situation.

Here are the steps you need to take:

a)     Take your time to think all requests made on
you before giving any answer.
Say you will let them know as soon as possible.
Study the demands and make certain they will
fit your own obligations and commitments.

b)     Analyze your priorities, and decide whether
the new engagement is of any significance, relevance
or magnitude to you.
If you find it is of no consequence to you, just ignore it.

c)     Consider the time length the new engagement
will need to be completed.
If it is long term, disregard it, because it will be adding
more stress on you.

d)     Refuse immediately any demand or request,
which makes you feel guilty if you do not do it.
If you accept something under these circumstances
you will feel pressed, stressed, anxious and eventually
really sick.

 

Shrubs

 

Guiding Light

 

There is no perfect way to say NO, and there is also no
way you can ever control the other person’s feelings
and reactions.

The following advice is how to do this best:

a)     Know your value as a person and have the right
attitude, independence and energy.

b)     Stand in a power pose, look calm and assertive,
and be fast and polite.

c)     Communicate your NO decision clearly and firmly,
using simple words.
Do not complicate and over-explain things.

d)     Offer an alternative solution to show your good
will and to meet half way.

e)     If at all possible and you really want to help,
offer a lesser commitment.

Do not forget, you are responsible only for
yourself,
and not for any other person’s feelings
and actions
towards you.

Nothing is perfect, including humans.
Use any criticism for your own growth.

Remember, you can not please everybody.
Never lose your self-worth.

Enjoy the long term benefits of saying NO.

 

 

 

Curam Sui!

 

Hi there!

 

…… ” Talk to me about yourself. 
I want to know who you are, and how you
live your life , Sev asked him one day.

I go to my regular work every morning,
and I do some counselling in the evenings.
During the weekends I do a bit of volunteering
work, and
whenever I have some free time
I
usually support people I know
Lex replied smiling.

Then suddenly he stood still.
He had just realised that this hectic way of
living had left him with no time for himself.

With this thought he felt bitter and distressed.
I must take steps to change this self sacrifice
because it’s draining my life he thought
decisively ……

 

Classic Boat Ride

 

Pavlovian Response

 

Self care is an instinctive behaviour in nature,
but it does not exist in the same way in humans.
Individuals need to be willing to learn it and
practice it;   and over time as they are progressing
they will start feeling more comfortable and
relaxed about it.

Self care is taking any actions necessary to improve
your lifestyle and your total wellbeing.
Self care is to take full responsibility for your
pursuits, and honour and respect yourself.

The quest for good health and happiness is not
a selfish hunt.
It means to take care of your own needs, and listen
and pay attention to yourself.

It is something completely individual for every
person, and you should engage in whatever feels
most right for you.
It can change how you see yourself, and show you
new opportunities.

You will set up new habits, which will make you
feel in control of your whole life.
You will have much less stress and you will be
more decisive and resilient.

Also you will be able to look after yourself better
without having to rely on others, and you will
feel more confident to change direction when
things do not work for you any more.

 

Three Girls Dancing The Charleston

 

Get On Line

 

You need to slow down and make space for
relaxing your mind, exercising your body and
taking time for deep thinking and planning.

If you manage these you will have a genuine
and very happy life.
To start prioritising your own needs follow
the steps below:

a)     Determine what self care means to you and
make a full plan in writing.

b)     Practice self awareness to be able to recognise
your actual needs:   physical, emotional, mental
and spiritual.

c)     Identify all these thoughts that are holding
you back from taking care of yourself.

d)     Realise that nothing is perfect, and start
taking small steps towards accomplishing your
ambitions and goals.

e)     Redefine your relationships by placing
boundaries and really stick to them.

f)     Understand that NO is a complete sentence.

 

Bicycle Race

 

Believed Abstraction

 

Here are some fascinating examples of
self care projects, pursuits and special
interests:

1)      Go shopping or window shopping.
2)      Taking photographs.
3)      Nurturing your body.
4)      Going to a mini retreat.
5)      Swimming and sunbathing on the beach.
6)      Reading inspirational books.
7)      Walking or hiking in nature.
8)      Driving and admiring the sights.
9)       Pampering in a day spa.
10)     Watching a film.
11)      De-cluttering your wardrobe.
12)     Growing plants and flowers.
13)      Researching and Writing.
14)      Exercising in a gym.
15)      Baking and cooking health foods.
16)      Being spiritual.
17)      Going out to coffee shops.
18)      Taking short breaks regularly.
19)      Going to the cinema.
20)      Going on holidays.

 

Swaying Girls

 

Turn On Steam

 

Making time and space for yourself is absolutely
critical to your total wellbeing and happiness.

Do something you really love every single day.
Put yourself first and make self care your habit.

Start treasuring yourself now and you will feel
in harmony and very proud.
You will feel healthy, strong, fulfilled and happy.

Make self care a constant and true part of your
daily life.
Do not fear;   give this great gift to yourself now.

Your are No I !!

 

 

 

Gran Abuelo!

 

Hi there!

 

Some years ago while holidaying I met a very
nice and kind older lady.  
She was always dressing in fashionable clothes,
looking very cheerful, happy and terribly active.

I was so intrigued by her youthfulness that I
decided to ask her about her secrets of feeling
so enthusiastic and excited about her life. 

…….” I live in this wonderful resort among
these lovely people, whom I greet and smile to
whenever I meet them.
During the day in the winter months, I go for
long walks by the sea, which is so invigorating
and uplifting.

In the summer months, I enjoy swimming, and
I lie in the sunlight savouring the salty water
and all the calmness and tranquillity around me.

I cherish my love for my partner for many years
now, and I sleep peacefully at night.
I always try to live without worry and I pray
every day………”

 

gran-abuelo-3

 

Second Childhood

 

Today only a few people live to reach a very
old age and die from natural causes;
but more and more human beings live longer
these days than ever before.

Certainly one third of your chances to live to
one hundred depends on your genetics;
and especially your mother  —  her medical
history and habits, but the rest and the most,
definitely depends on you.

There is a lot you can do to improve your
probability for a long and healthy old age.
Your every day habits and past circumstances
will influence this;
and together with health and technology progress, 
scientific research as well as disease prevention
and various treatments will determine, without
doubt,
how long you will live.

 

Sun on Blue Sky

 

Wheel Of Fortune

 

Here are the ways to increase and build up
your chances of a longer and healthier life:

a)     Adopt a healthy diet to include:
colourful vegetables and fruits, whole grains,
olive and coconut oils, nuts and seeds, fish,
poultry and eggs.
Have small meals often and drink an adequate
amount of liquids daily.

b)     Exercise moderately like walking, hiking
and swimming on a daily basis.
Keep good posture, do your chores manually
and lift everything.
Move every hour for a few minutes.

c)     Look after your physical and mental health
and wash your hands many times a day.
Take care of your external appearance.

d)     Be financially secure at all times by owning
your own home and having emergency savings.

e)     Socialize with healthy people and have a
loving intimate relationship/marriage.

f)     Be an extrovert and an optimist.
Be grateful for your life and think positively.

 

gran-abuelo-4

 

g)     Be conscientious, resilient, driven, creative,
determined, motivated and interested in
everything.
Keep on working and learning.

h)     Spend time in the sun, but if you decide
to sunbathe wear a good and strong sunscreen.

i)      Reduce stress and worry.
Be happy, sing, dance and laugh a lot.
Do not take yourself too seriously.

j)     Take frequent breaks from your every
day routine.
Arrange holidays whenever possible.

k)     Become a frequent shopper or just a
window shopper.

l)     Have a sense of purpose like your success,
health, relationships, spirituality.

m)    Develop one or two hobbies, which you
look forward to doing, and they give you a
sense of 
accomplishment like, reading, writing
or
photography.

 

Path in the Forest

 

Take Pleasure

 

By putting some effort, and being courageous
and fearless you will create  a fulfilling,
purposeful, healthy, loving and long life
for yourself.

If you trust yourself and feel confident and
positive you will be able to deal with all things
as they happen, either they are pleasant or
troublesome and undesirable.

Do you want to live to one hundred or more?
Now is the time to add more happy years to
your life.

Decide to make all the changes which will
allow you to achieve this difficult and
complicated goal.

Breathe deeply, believe you are young and
healthy, and always act young.

Simply live!!

 

 

 

 

 

Vir Fortis!

 

Hi there!

 

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for
our freedom.
A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent .

Martin Luther King. Jr.

The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong .

Mahatma Gandhi

The depth and strength of a human character are
defined by its moral reserves.
People reveal themselves completely only when
they are thrown out of the customary conditions
of their life, for only then do they have to fall
back on their reserves.

Leonardo Da Vinci

 

Group of trees

 

Nerves Of Steel

 

In these very unsettled and unstable times
we live, we do need to have a very strong mind
to be able to conquer all difficulties and
hurdles in our way.

To be a determined and courageous person
means being so resilient as to handle all life’s
challenges effectively, overcome them and
become more powerful.

Consequently, not only you will need to be
physically and mentally competent but also
to have the necessary reserves to allow you
to face these challenges and win.

A powerful individual needs to have the perfect
combination of intellect, determination,
flexibility, self-discipline, alertness, willpower
and finally guts.

All the above will help you defeat all barriers,
threats as well as various disappointments in
your life    and if you finally manage to cope
with all your problems as they happen, you
will really be a peaceful, pleased, fortunate
and outstanding human being.

 

Spider

 

Part And Parcel

 

Most people wish to be invincible in all aspects
of their life, either it is personal, professional
or family.
The following list of habits will help you become
really a strong human:

a)     Stop worrying about what other people think
and say;   always stay focused and seize opportunities
as they appear.

b)     Be motivated, optimistic, confident, determined,
independent
and believe in yourself;   always do what
you want
by taking calculated risks.

c)     Be persistent and organised;   focus on your goals
and plans, learn from your mistakes and work hard
until you succeed ignoring any setbacks.

d)     Be fearless, courageous and tolerant when things
go wrong;   be responsible for your own actions.

e)     Relax and see things clearly and precisely;   be in
control of your own mind so that you can forge
your destiny.

f)     Keep on learning and educating yourself, because
knowledge is power;   develop hobbies and be
observant and productive.

g)     Exercise daily to improve your body and mind;
listen to motivational music.

h)     Look after your physical and mental health;
adopt a healthful diet.

i)     Take care of your appearance;   dress smartly,
cut your hair, walk and sit tall and talk with confidence.

 

Berry shrub

 

Solid Gold

 

Life is full of challenges and we need to be 
resilient in order to handle them effectively.
If you do not belong to the few people who
are born mentally tough you can learn to be.

*     Never waste your time and energy feeling
sorry for yourself.
   Never allow anybody to make you feel bad
or hurt you.

*     Never complain about situations and
other people.
*     Never rely on others to make you happy
or be afraid to be alone.
*     Never ever do anything you do not want
to do;   just say No.

You need to deal with your problems one at
a time and without letting them affect you in
any way.
Also you need to balance your negative and
positive thoughts in such an efficient way as
not to become overly excited that you do not
control what you say and do, by using logic.

 

Panda

 

World Class

 

Take advantage of any obstacles and turn them
into progress and prosperity.
Change what you can control, accept what you
cannot and be grateful for what you have in
your life.

Eliminate everything that is futile and has no
meaning as well as anything unproductive and
wasteful.
Use your past experiences as a priceless
education, live only in the present moment so
you can see all things as they really are, and
create the best future for yourself.

Take love and give love!
 Live with purpose!
Be strong!

 

 

 

Cave Of Adullam!

 

Hi there!

 

Once again Bo was spending most of his day
at his desk;   but instead of focusing on his work
he kept on wondering,  what is Taffie doing at
this moment?  Does she really love me?  Why is
she not paying much attention to me? “.

He carried on worrying, even wondering whether
she was flirting with other men.
Bo was not happy in his relationship, without
a doubt.

He was dependent on Taffie for his happiness.
He was jealous, insecure and needy.
Under the circumstances, he was feeling extremely
stressed all the time and totally unhappy.

 

Bee on Lavender

 

Principal Element

 

Stress is the feeling of not being in control.

In our life we want very specific things to happen;
and we worry that these things may never happen
because we do not believe we are capable of
handling something completely different.

Basically we lack confidence and conviction.
We feel confused, fearful and always reluctant.

The degree of our suffering depends only on
our own personal perception of things.

 

Peaceful Beach

 

Grand Designs

 

No matter how helpless you may feel, you
still have much more control than you might
believe.
Certainly you can control your thoughts,
emotions and actions, as well as your whole
lifestyle.

The following will help you cope:

 

The Strategies

 

a)     On The Spot Techniques:

The Tools:

         *     Deep Breathing
             Muscle Relaxation
         *     Visualisation
         *     Meditation (Mantra)
         *     Pray
         *     Walking Barefoot
         *     Going for a Walk
         *     Massaging & Smelling Lavender
         *     Doing Housework/Gardening
         *     Laughing
         *     Singing & Dancing
         *     Drinking Chamomile with Honey
         *     Eating salty almonds 

b)     Long Term Techniques:

The Tools:

         *     Prioritising Your Obligations
         *     Delegating
         *     Learning to Say NO to Demands
         *     Accepting Things You Cannot Change
         *     Looking Forward to Things Happening
         *     Taking Up Writing
         *     Creating a Calming Area in Your Home
         *     Organising your life

c)     Psychological Technique:

        Changing your perception of the stressor.
        Meaning Remove Negativity and
                                Feed Positivity.

The Process:

        *     Decide the reason you feel stressed  (Why).
        *     Decide the way you can deal with it  (How).
        *     Apply logic to your negative thoughts and
               hold on to the new truth of the situation.
        *     Think positively about yourself, 
               stay in the present moment and
               start feeling confident, strong and powerful.

 

Relaxing Garden

 

The Insulation

 

To build your defences against future stressors
you must practice most of the above mentioned
techniques, which suit your current situation,
your life and your character.

At the same time, you must adopt:
   Healthy Eating Habits
   Good Sleeping Habits
   Daily Moderate Exercise
   Adequate Rest
   Healthy Lifestyle

Also always try to have, at least, one person
in your life very close to you, so you can
share your thoughts and concerns.

 

Koi in Pond

 

The Acupressure & Reflexology

 

—   Point 1 :   Wrists   (Inner Gate P6)

Find the pressure point in the middle
of your wrist, three fingers down.
Press this point for at least 5 minutes.
Do this to both wrists.

—   Point 2 :   Ears   (Reflexology)

Massage your ears with your thumb
and forefinger for 3 minutes.

—   Point 3 :   Scalp   (Reflexology)

Massage your whole scalp gently using
circular movements for 2 minutes.

—   Point 4 :   Breastbone  (Sea of Tranquility CV17)

Find the pressure point on the centre
of the breastbone three thumb widths
up from the base of the bone.
Press or tap on this point with your
middle finger.

Bear In Mind

All our problems stem from unhappiness
and dissatisfaction.

Always remember,  it is never the stressor,
either this is a person or a situation.

It is your action based on your reaction to
that stressor.

C h i l l    O u t !!

 

 

 

 

 

Silver Fox!

 

Hi there!

 

The guests started arriving in the mansion for this
long-awaited charity event.
They were very smartly dressed and attracted all the
attention of the photographers.

The striking mature beauty arrived alone wearing this
stunning long light blue dress.
She looked so youthful with her beautiful shoulder
length gray hair.

There was something so compelling about her look.
She was so amazing in her great
figure that she
didn’t need to alter
anything — she felt so comfortable
within herself.

All eyes turned to look at her.
She was aware they were looking at her silver hair — but
she was so
confident she had made the very conscious
decision not to accept
stereotypes attached to older women.

 

DSC_0340 DSC_0346

 

She-Devil

 

There is a new hot beauty trend this year — and it is called “granny hair”.
It really is on fire and it looks gorgeous.

This latest hair trend is very good news for all women everywhere — and
especially the ones who are already blessed with a granite coloured mane.

Since grey hair has gone so glam women have embraced this new sexy trend.
This latest style is refreshing
and challenging to our youth orientated society.

Young women around the world, including many celebrities have
started dying their
hair grey — and it is extremely impressive.
Silver hair has always been associated with ageing — Not any more!

More and more women are deciding to let their grey hair go.
On top of being
very chic and flattering, it is also  very practical:
hair needs less maintenance,
it is healthier and extremely natural.
Also it means liberation from the timely and costly hair dying dynasty.

 

DSC_0341 DSC_0343

 

The Anarchist

 

This latest trend of “granny hair” look has definitely an air of bold and
arrogant feminism.

It is absolutely naughty and rebellious.
It is undeniably a Feminist statement.
All these silver ladies know exactly what they want and they do it.

They believe in themselves, and they rock their silver locks
with great
confidence, determination and courage;
and they look fabulous.

There is an enthusiasm for the minimum these days.
Minimal beauty is gradually becoming an obsession.

 

DSC_0344 DSC_0345

 

Pearly Vixen

 

Let your grey-haired natural tones shine through.
Flaunt it proudly but follow these tips:

 

a)    Have a beautiful geometric bob cut to meet your chin.

b)    Use a silver shampoo to keep the colour bright.

c)    Wear red lipstick and put a little also in your upper
eyelids to give light.

d)    Keep your eyebrows dark coloured, and if you feel,
use mascara.

e)    Wear a cool white nail polish.

f)    Wear lots of jewellery like silver rings and bracelets.

 

DSC_0339 DSC_0342

 

It is finally time for women to start enjoying grey emancipation;
as men have been
doing so, forever!

 

Dare to go grey!!