Tag Archive | Anxiety

The Drill!


Hi there!


Vee, a woman in her forties, had a very hectic life.
She was a type A personality:    driven, energetic,
ambitious, competitive, impatient, dominating
and aggressive.

She was an attractive woman, but looking at
her you could recognise certain stress related
characteristics on her face.

When I met her that morning, I could not but
notice how tense her face was;    with her tight
lips and her dark under-eye circles.
When she talked I could not avoid observing
some beads of sweat on her forehead.

I knew her job was very demanding and stressful,
and she felt really overwhelmed by it.
At the same time, she did not have any time at
all to concentrate to her personal life and other

I knew she was feeling isolated and troubled,
as well as suffering from chronic stress and
I do need to find the best and most suitable way
for me to minimise this stress and anxiety I suffer
chronically now , she said looking serious.


Rose Hedge


The Physical Stress


Anxiety is the consequence of the freeze response
when we are under chronic and intense stress.
You feel powerless, and completely unable to
change the problematic situation that is crippling
you;    and at the same time, it is impossible for
you to escape 
from this.

Basically, you are a prisoner of your own mind
and overwhelming emotions.
In this situation, you definitely need to break
away from your head, and connect with your body.

It is amazing how exercise can influence the way
you feel mentally;    since it promotes total pleasure,
enjoyment, contentment and peace of mind.

Our physical and mental health are interconnected.
Exercise releases endorphins in the brain, so you
feel calmer, it relaxes the muscles, and breaks the
negative thinking and worry cycle.

According to research, exercise is a natural, free
and powerful anti-anxiety treatment.
Certainly, you will need to exercise for a minimum
of thirty (30) minutes, at least for five (5) days a
week, and for not less than eight (8) weeks in order
to see any desirable results.




The Ballgame


Practically, any reasonably demanding physical
activity will offer positive results, but specific
ones are more effective than others.
In general, aerobic exercise is the primary solution 
to your mental peace.

Consider the following exercises to relieve your
stress and anxiety:

a)     Hatha Yoga

You focus internally and on deep breathing, in
combination with the asanas.

b)     Walking

It clears the mind and reduces stress and anxiety.

c)     Jogging

It releases all natural euphoric chemicals in 
the body.

d)     Hiking

Being in nature reduces all stress hormones, and
increases alertness and openness.

e)     Swimming

Focusing on breathing and your strokes to relieve
all tension.

f)     Gardening

A grounding activity, you become aware, and
keep your mind under control.


Flower Bed


Drawing Near


Certainly physical fitness will enhance mental fitness;
and this has been proven repeatedly.
But there is also the mental approach exercises,
which definitely reduce mental tension, and promote
relaxation, as well.

1)     Breathing Exercise

Sit somewhere comfortably.
Breathe in slowly, pushing your abdomen outwards.

Hold your breath momentarily.
Exhale slowly, repeating the word “relax” in your mind.

Repeat this exercise five (5) times.

2)     Quick Meditation

Sit comfortably without any distractions.
Keep breathing naturally and slowly.
Close your eyes and remove all thoughts from your mind.
Keep repeating a mantra like “peaceful”.

Continue this for at least ten (10) minutes.

3)     Progressive Muscular Relaxation

Lie comfortably on a mat, or your bed.
Starting from your feet, tighten each muscle for
a few seconds and release slowly.
Continue in the same way moving to your calves,
your thighs and buttocks, to your abdominal area,
your stomach and chest.
Continue with your hands and arms, moving to
your neck and total face muscles.

This exercise should take you ten (10) minutes.
View any exercise as your best and most effective
instrument to manage your stress and anxiety,
and be a happier person altogether.

Also note that the benefits of exercise are not 

only immediate, but also long term.
By exercising, you will certainly feel much 
calmer;    and you will notice that your mood
will be greatly enhanced, even from the first
ten minutes.

Obviously, the most suitable activities for you
will be the ones you enjoy more;   and thus 
you continue doing them on a regular basis.

So the best thing to do is to experiment with most,
and finally focus on the ones you really like
and enjoy.







Hi there!


Kyla went to work this morning having a strong
premonition that something was going to happen.
She sat at her desk preparing her files, when her
telephone rang;   she answered nervously, and
” can you come to my office immediately, please? “,
her manager asked.

She left what she was doing and hurried in his office;

Twenty minutes later she emerged looking worried.
He gave me this difficult project, and although I believe
I know how to handle it, if I don’t complete it properly I
will suffer the consequences.

As a result, he will not be happy with me  —   and it

will certainly be all my fault.
What if he becomes very upset with me and decides
to fire me!
Then, what will I do    I will have no money to live!
Since I have no other savings, I will not be able to pay
my bills or buy my food.
I also have a mortgage, which if I don’t repay, most
likely the bank will take my home “.

She kept on thinking ad nauseam all these negative

scenarios, and feeling her anxiety mounting ……..



The Insurance Policy


Many years ago, when I was in my very early twenties
I was still living with my parents, in a strict and
traditional environment.

I remember very clearly one night, I was driving back
home after having a good night out with some friends.

It was much after midnight, and the roads were almost

completely empty.
I was driving very fast, and continuously thinking all
the worst things that could happen to me when I would
arrive home.

I was imagining my mother protesting and complaining

about my independent attitude, as well as screaming
and objecting my thoughtless and careless actions.
I used to worry so much every time I went out at night,
almost to the point of complete anxiety.
The truth is, nothing of all these fears actually came into

I usually went back home nicely, everybody was already
in bed, so I did the same thing very quietly and carefully.

But I always felt that if I expected the worst I would

not be upset and distressed when it happened.
I used negativity as my insurance.
This attitude was, and always is very wrong and a huge
mistake;   because things
could actually have happened
according to my fears.

Negativity can very well influence the outcome;
and even worse, according to research, self-fulfilling
predictions do really take place.

Consequently, the best thing to do is to disregard any

negative thoughts that come into your mind, and
try to imagine a positive result instead.


Red Plant


Sing The Blues


Thoughts, either they are positive or negative, are
generated in the subconscious mind.
They are created based on your past external and
genetic conditioning, as well as your various predictions
your future and how you perceive your present life.

Thoughts are stored naturally in your brain as memories.
When you experience negative feelings, they start
fighting against the normal flow of your life, and
as a consequence you are suffering.

Your thoughts are just pure energy passing through,

with no power at all to influence anything.
The problem starts as soon as you start associating
yourself with any of them, obsessing and therefore

They have not any control whatsoever, until the moment

you start feeding and giving them energy by paying
attention to them.
Actually, if you ignore them completely they will lose
their dominance and fade away.

You do need to let all this negative energy flow away

by not being interested in it at all.
All our negative thoughts are connected to the following

*     Exaggerated and excessive reactions to various issues.
*     Impossible and unrealistic expectations.
*     Outrageous and irrational thinking to extremes.
*     Imagining and speculating what people think.
    Disastrous and destructive assumptions of a situation.
    Criticising and insulting one’s self.
    Predicting and visualising a negative future.
*     Minimising the positive and enlarging the negative.

Avoid doing all the above mentioned in order not to be

tormented by negativity;
and focus your attention on positive endings.




Endowed With Reason


The human mind has naturally evolved to create
You must realise that you are not your thoughts.
These mental perceptions are only forms of energy.
Restraining and stopping your negative thoughts is
extremely difficult if you do not use the right technique.

You certainly need to practice how to disassociate

yourself from these thoughts, and show no interest
in them whatsoever.
This is the only true way to cause your thoughts to lose
their power, die out and disappear.

The following techniques will help you practice how

to do exactly this:

a)     Focus all your attention on a specific point from
five to twenty minutes.
This point can be anything you choose like,
an external sound, some music, counting worry beads,
parts of your body or your breath.

b)     Observe your mind without showing any interest
at all.    
Let all this negative energy together with its images,
called thoughts, flow away without involving yourself
in any way.

Thoughts do not really exist  —  it is only you who brings

them to reality, by focusing on them.

Realise that the only real and true way to stop them is
Not to use any force, but Only to Stop Paying Attention
to them completely and absolutely.

Good Luck!





Hi there!


MTJ was going through a rough  patch in his life.
He had just become redundant from his powerful
and very well paid job.

He was feeling lost, disappointed, and utterly confused
and bewildered.
He really didn’t know what to do, and where to turn.
At the same time, his financial situation was deteriorating
fast, to the point where his credit cards were filling up.

Sleepless nights were the normal thing for him, since
he was constantly thinking what steps to take to save
His future was now totally uncertain, and he couldn’t
take any decisions any more.

He was feeling so heavily distressed that he started
having regular anxiety attacks.
Finally, he managed to start implementing some actions,
to reduce his destructive overthinking and suffering;
at least until he could find a solution to his problems.




Cold Feet


Over-thinking comes naturally to most people  —  and
especially to women, according to studies.
It happens when you feel stressed, worried or anxious
about a certain situation, or when you are faced with
a crisis;   and you do need to decide your next steps
and actions.

Obviously, analyzing your troubles and determining
course of action is a great thing;
because this will enable you to
find the correct solutions
and follow the right path.

The problem starts when you lose control of your
mind, and keep on thinking ad nauseam meaningless
and worthless things, without actually addressing
your issues and difficulties.
This will finally result in negative and irrational

thinking, as well as total misery.

Obsessive thinking is a learnt habit to defend yourself
against troublesome, demanding and challenging
It can be relating to previous mistakes, current life
difficulties, relationship problems, shortage of money,
individual experiences, or various things that can
always go wrong.

It really is an absolutely destructive habit;
because the only thing you see, is negativity in your
past, again negativity in your present and even
more negativity in your future.

You lose courage, confidence and belief in yourself;
you perform very poorly in your every day life;
you do not meet your obligations and responsibilities;
you develop mental and emotional complications;
you suffer from insomnia, tension and restlessness;
you are held back from the life you wanted to live.




Talk Game


Here are the most useful ways to change your
obsessive thinking and free yourself:

a)     As soon as you start obsessing about something,
breathe deeply a few times, get up wash your hands
in the sink, and get out of the room walking through the
door and into another area.

b)     Immediately try to replace your negative thought
with a positive and more pleasant one;
or say the word STOP to disrupt your thinking.

c)     Get out of the house, go for a long walk, or go for
a drive, or go to a gym to exercise, in order to distract
your mind.

d)     Focus on a target, a goal, a hobby or another
activity committing yourself to it completely.

e)     Tell yourself that you will be over-thinking only
for a specific time, say 5, 10, 15 minutes;
then forget
about it and move on with your tasks.

f)     Make a plan about your next steps to solve this
disturbing situation, and write it down to impress on your
mind and make you feel more relieved.

g)     Try to see the big picture  —  how things will be in
the next months to next years.

h)     Focus only in the present moment, and discard all
negative thoughts entering your mind.

i)     Learn to go with the flow.
Accept that all things happen for a reason, and everything
will work out at the end    and it should.

j)     In general, always try to avoid people, places and other
situations that can
lead to unnecessary obsessive thinking.

k)     Also avoid over-thinking traps like, your bad financial
situation for example;   and you should not be calculating
your debts every day and checking your accounts.

l)     Keep very active during the day.
This will make your physical body tired, so you can relax
and sleep better later at night.


Sun and Birds


Key Point


Your thoughts will shape and form your reality.
As a consequence, you must be extremely careful
of what you are thinking.

Because, if you constantly worry about an issue, either
this is relating to work, health, 
relationship or any
other situation, you will be
increasing your possibilities
of actually suffering that
specific issue.

Realize that life is not perfect, neither are humans.
Just be grateful for what you currently have in your
life, and
always do your best.
At the same time be patient, because success will
come eventually.

Learn to forgive people;   this is the only way to be
in peace, to improve your health, and to uplift
your mood.
Feeling fearful and stuck are not your reality,
but only your own feelings at the specific time.
Life changes every moment, and you have to
change, too.

If you do want to create a happy, fulfilling and
successful life, you must live in the present
moment and keep your thoughts under control.

It is only your personal choice to create the
future life you wish, and live peacefully.

Good Luck !!









Hi there!


It was 09:30am, and as every morning for the last
two and a half years, I was absolutely ready.

A last look in the entrance mirror to confirm I
was looking perfect, then I took my handbag and
sunglasses, locked the door and walked to the
garage to take my car.

In ten minutes I arrived at the High Street, parked
my car and started my dramatic adventure.
I had chosen seven fashion shops, most suitable
to me, which I was visiting alternatively.

I started following my routine:
I was walking through the whole shop floor,
examining all clothes and choosing all that
I liked.

Then I went to the changing rooms, and took my
time trying them all, checking every detail in the
mirrors around me, and finally choosing the
best to buy.

At the end, I went to the cashier’s counter and
paid for my selected items.

What an exhilarating experience…!
Sometimes, I repeated the whole process at
03:30 in the afternoon, in a different shop.

Those were the days……
Now my life has taken a new turn.
I have stopped shopping, almost completely,
unless I really need something.


Red Dress


Monkey On Back


Shopping is an extremely pleasant and satisfying
experience for many people.

Looking through these aisles full of beautiful
clothes …….. and all the shelves full of exquisite
shoes and handbags …….. trying and buying what you
like, and bring them home …….. taking them out
of their bags, removing the labels and price
tags …….. then trying to find the right storage
place for them ……..
So exciting !!!

Shopping is comforting, soothing, pleasing and
a lot of fun.
It gives you something interesting and entertaining
to do, when you do not work, and it takes your mind
off all other things.

I do like shopping  —  and there had been a few periods
in my life, when I was actually going around shops and

shopping centres every morning buying things.

But shopping can become addictive for many people,
and can cause a lot of problems, not only financial
but also personal and emotional.

Usually it happens when the individual ( mostly
female ) feels stressed, lonely, anxious, depressed, angry,
bored, guilty or fearful.

For the most part what people buy they do not need.
It can be anything, from clothes and accessories to
furniture, kitchen equipment and home decorations.


Shopping Women


Sweet Tooth


Terminating this retail therapy is all about self
control and changing your current circumstanes,
to give yourself a more interesting life.

This means, sit down, think carefully and make a
plan with various alternatives you can introduce
to your every day life.
Some examples are:

1)     Register at a leisure club.
2)     Take volunteer work.
3)     Find a job.
4)     Register at a class of your interest.
5)     Register at a club of your interest.
6)     Change city of living.
7)     Change country of living.
8)     Find a partner if you are alone.
9)     Change your partner if you are not happy.




Main Point


In the meantime, and until your life is actually
changed, try to keep your spending under control
by writing down all your daily expenses, in
comparison with your income or savings.

Also, try to buy only one item at a time to keep
your costs to a minimum, and still enjoy the experience.

Finally, if you adopt one or more of the above
mentioned suggestions, you will have a goal
to achieve.

This will take your mind off wasting your money
shopping for unnecesary items;
it will improve your emotional state;
and it will enhance your personal relationships.

Taking all the necessary steps will change your
life almost completely.

Take control of yourself and your whole life.






Hi there!


Bo was working in his office this afternoon when he
received an email from his colleague asking him for
assistance with his project.

As soon as he read this he felt resentful immediately,
since he knew that on the one hand he wanted to
help him, but on the other this would entail extra
time and effort for him.

Thinking more about it, he did not want to accept
this obligation, because it meant he would have to
stay in the office late, and neglect part of his own

I have no reason to accept this other than being
helpful to a colleague, something which I can’t
afford to do at the moment he thought.

I have to say No to you this time, because I’m
extremely busy at present and I have no time
to spare for more work.
But I can recommend Jos to you, who will be pleased
to help you with your project .

Bo decided, and replied to his colleague without any
further delay.

Immediately he felt relieved and ready to continue
with his own business.


Yellow Flowers


Will Power


Most people dislike to say NO because they want to
help and be nice to the other person.
But saying yes all or most of the time entails a lot
of unpleasant consequences like,
    loss of valuable time,
    waste a huge amount of mental energy,
*     a great amount of pressure.

All of these result in physical and mental exhaustion.
Yet people find it so very hard to say NO.
This is happening because of many reasons like,
*     they want to avoid any arguments,
*     they want to be polite,
*     they want to fit in with the others,
*     they want to maintain good relationships,
*     they feel guilty if they do not help.

But if you really want to create your own life and
pursue your goals, you do need to be in full
control of all situations around you.

Learning to say NO is the greatest reward you can
give to yourself.
In order to be able to do so, you will need to become
decisive, confident and assertive  —  but at the same
time you must be calm and polite.

Being assertive means you must convey your message,
and at the same time to listen to the other person.
It means sharing and appreciating others.

When you manage this you will increase your
self-confidence, you will become more understanding,
you will improve your self-image and finally you
will achieve very much more.


Red Leafs


Primary Element


Before you decide and turn down any demands
and requests from other people, you need to
evaluate the situation.

Here are the steps you need to take:

a)     Take your time to think all requests made on
you before giving any answer.
Say you will let them know as soon as possible.
Study the demands and make certain they will
fit your own obligations and commitments.

b)     Analyze your priorities, and decide whether
the new engagement is of any significance, relevance
or magnitude to you.
If you find it is of no consequence to you, just ignore it.

c)     Consider the time length the new engagement
will need to be completed.
If it is long term, disregard it, because it will be adding
more stress on you.

d)     Refuse immediately any demand or request,
which makes you feel guilty if you do not do it.
If you accept something under these circumstances
you will feel pressed, stressed, anxious and eventually
really sick.




Guiding Light


There is no perfect way to say NO, and there is also no
way you can ever control the other person’s feelings
and reactions.

The following advice is how to do this best:

a)     Know your value as a person and have the right
attitude, independence and energy.

b)     Stand in a power pose, look calm and assertive,
and be fast and polite.

c)     Communicate your NO decision clearly and firmly,
using simple words.
Do not complicate and over-explain things.

d)     Offer an alternative solution to show your good
will and to meet half way.

e)     If at all possible and you really want to help,
offer a lesser commitment.

Do not forget, you are responsible only for
and not for any other person’s feelings
and actions
towards you.

Nothing is perfect, including humans.
Use any criticism for your own growth.

Remember, you can not please everybody.
Never lose your self-worth.

Enjoy the long term benefits of saying NO.






Hi there!


Myk was a regional manager in his company with
numerous obligations, working until seven in the
evening every day.
By the time he returned home he was so tired, that
he could only have some dinner and go to bed early
for a good night’s sleep.

He usually slept soundly for three to four hours;
then suddenly his eyes opened wide and he was
feeling frightened.
Myk was in distress, and trying to calm his wandering
mind with great difficulty.

But unfortunately, it was all in vain.
The more he was trying, the more awake he felt
as the time was going.

Myk started now being worried and so desperate,
that he could not fall back to sleep again.

His main concern was that with only those few
hours of sleep he had, he would definitely be
exhausted and drained next day;
and have real trouble facing
his many obligations
and responsibilities.

This dreadful pattern had become a routine for
him now, and made him more anxious as the
days were passing.
I must find a solution to this problem, otherwise
the consequences will be awful for me he said
to himself one morning, feeling worried, but



Feed The Fire


Sleep is a natural biological process.
It is a state of mind and body, that occurs in
cycles, from deeper sleep to lighter sleep,
and with breaks between.

Consequently, nobody sleeps through the
whole night.
People can awaken four, five, even six times,
either to turn on the other side, or to go to the
toilet, or perhaps some noise;

but normally they will go back to sleep again.
This is especially commonplace as you
grow older.

The amount of sleep all individuals need
depends mainly on their genetic inheritance.
Waking up during the night and not being able
to return to sleep for some time is normal,
and a very common phenomenon.


Disturbed sea


Song And Dance


Waking up in the middle of the night is a
very frustrating and disappointing thing.
There are many reasons why you are
awake and alert at night.
The main culprits are the following:

1)     You need to go to the bathroom.
2)     You are too hot or too cold.
3)     You are exposed to too much internal or
        external light.
4)     You drank alcohol before going to bed.
5)     There is too much noise.
6)     You are hungry or thirsty.
7)     You are pregnant.
8)     You are in menopause.
9)     You do not follow any sleep patterns,
        schedules and routines.

10)    You suffer from leg cramps.
11)    You have a medical condition.
12)    You are taking certain medications.
13)    You are suffering from indigestion.
14)    You have a sleep disorder.
15)    You suffer from stress and anxiety.



Rise And Shine


Next time you have trouble returning to
sleep, try the following natural tips:

a)     Never look at a clock to check what time
it is, because doing so will make you feel stressed.

b)     Avoid going to the bathroom, because this
will upset your heart beats and you will feel
more awake    unless it is absolutely necessary.

c)     Wear an eye mask to avoid any brightness,
and help you go back to sleep more easily.  

d)     Lie on your back, breathe slowly through 
your nose and relax all the muscles in your body.

e)     Focus your mind on a calming word like
Peaceful , and keep on repeating it until you
feel sleepy again.    

f)     Have a bottle of lavender essential oil by your
bedside, and smell its perfume to feel relaxed.

g)     Try Bach remedy Rescue Night to help you
switch off and return to sleep.  

h)     If you suffer from indigestion, sleep on your left
hand side to help reduce any acid reflux. 


Peaceful Sea


Screaming Halt


The most important thing is NOT to panic about
not being able to go back to sleep, and losing
important and much needed sleeping time.

Night is a calm, soothing and comforting time;
train your brain to feel relaxed and serene, so
you can sleep peacefully.

Otherwise you will feel tired and exhausted in
the morning;
and this will make things worse in 
the long term.

Clear your mind from all disturbing thoughts, and
let sleep happen naturally without any force.

Sweet Dreams !!
















Hi there!


Bo was a very successful 50 year old businessman.
He was married to a caring wife for ten years now
and was living very comfortably in a nice house
in the suburbs.

Although he was very pleased with his job and
its rewards, for the past six months he had been
considering quitting and developing his own
private business.

This challenging thought was occupying his mind
most of the time, making him continuously worried
and stressed to the point where he had started
neglecting some of his many obligations.

That morning in the conference room with
his colleagues, he was attending an important
meeting to discuss and find solutions to a
critical issue on his latest assignment.

He was sitting in his chair bending forward
and holding his head, not paying the necessary
attention to his manager speaking.
His mind was mixed up with all the things he
had to do regarding his personal project,
and he was feeling agitated.

Suddenly he was astonished when he realised
that all his colleagues were looking at him
waiting for his response on this crucial
subject of discussion.
Obviously he was unable to acknowledge and
answer because his mind was wandering
away into rumination and fantasy ……..


Focusing on calmness


Vital Principle


Many people spend a lot of time either
thinking and reliving whatever happened
in their past or imagining what will happen
in their future.

Because of doing so they are chronically
exhausted, under stress, anxious and live a
miserable life.

The only solution to this problem is learning
to focus and live in the present moment   
the only moment that we really live, and
accept what is happening now.

Certainly this is not so easy as it sounds, and
it needs a lot of practice, discipline and
Here are the most important steps you can
take to help you focus and stay in the present.


Red flower


Nerve Centre


Using Your Senses:


a)     Listening

    To the sound of the running water
    To the hum of the refrigerator
—    To the sound of a fan
    To the music on the radio

b)     Feeling

    The fabric of the clothes on the body
    The sun on the skin
—    The textures of objects like pebbles, shells etc.
    The temperatures on various objects

c)    Seeing

—    The shapes of the cars passing
    The shapes of the houses around
    The patterns on various fabrics
    The textures of the walls in buildings

d)     Smelling

—    The flowers around
    The food cooking in the kitchen
    The toothpaste when brushing the teeth
    The sea water


Gazing at the horizon


Bull’s Eye


Using Your Focus:


Put all your concentration and attention
to whatever you are doing at a given time:

a)     Talking to someone next to you.

b)     Reading a book/magazine you like.

c)     Doing your housework.

d)     Cooking a nice meal.

e)     Writing a journal/letter etc.

f)     Be intimate with your partner.


Purple flowers


Intrinsic Reality


It is definitely normal for your mind to
wander ceaselessly between various thoughts.
When this happens    stop, breathe and
redirect your mind to focus on the present
moment and your current activity.
Ignore any thoughts that are irrelevant
to your present moment.

Slow down and savour every second and
stage of your life.
Relax, do one thing at a time deliberately
without rushing.
Concentrate absolutely to your current activity
with full dedication.

Living in the present moment makes all
troubles disappear.
You are in control of what is happening at
the given moment, and you can take any
necessary actions.

Realise that your mind is only a tool to be
used by you    and not to control you.
Your actions should result only from your
conscious thinking.

Simplify your life.
Exercise willpower.
Be mindful.
Be conscious of life.

Are you living in the present??