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Arcadia!

 

Hi there!

 

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal,
not to people or things .

Albert Einstein
1879  –  1955

Happiness is when what you think, what you 
say, and what you do are in harmony .

Mahatma Gandhi
1869  –  1948

Happiness depends upon ourselves .

Aristotle
384 BC  –  322 BC

There is only one way to happiness,
and that is to cease worrying about things
which are beyond the power of our will .

Epictetus
c. 55  –  135 AD

 

Thomas Cole (1801–1848), The Arcadian or Pastoral State, 1834

 

Seventh Heaven

 

Arcadia, from the Greek province dating
back to Mediterranean classical era,
between the 8th century BC and the 5th
century BC.

It means a halcyon place of pristine and
untouched wasteland, teeming with harmony,
tranquillity, empathy, kindness and
selflessness.

It is something like the Garden of Eden, the
Paradise, which is elusive and unattainable.

Happiness is a very personal thing,
and something that can be achieved by
anyone, who is prepared to make all the
necessary changes and readjustments to:

  •  their general attitude towards life,
  •  their environment, and
  •  their various relationships and other
     connections.

By being a happy person you can anticipate
better overall health, living a longer life, as
well as personal and professional success.

Achieving happiness is not something easy
and quick;    but a long and hard process.
Still, at the end it will make a huge difference
between having an uninspired, dull and
ordinary life;    
and a fulfilled, successful and happy one.

Becoming a really happy person is a very
special skill you will have to develop.

You will need to stop hesitating and delaying
doing all the things you should, or pretending
and giving different excuses all the time.

Basically, you will need to  leave behind your
comfortable and easy way of life;
and take all he necessary steps to follow your
dreams and other interests with absolute
determination, enthusiasm and strong
willpower.

Consequently, the sooner you start, the
better
and easier this process will be.

 

Friedrich August von Kaulbach (1850–1920), In Arcadia

 

Golden Rules

 

Here are some principles for you to adopt in 
order to enjoy a wonderful and fascinating life.

a)     Keep your mind under control.
Overcome your negative thinking by recognising
the problem, and handling it appropriately.
See the good side of things, smile, laugh and 
feel strong.
If necessary, change your beliefs.

b)     Put all your problems right.
Issues that are causing you unhappiness
need
to be fixed as soon as possible.
For every problem there is always a solution;
and you must be able to find it.
If there is no solution to an issue, then it is
not
a problem, but a fact of life    something
you will need to ignore or accept.

c)     Do not have high expectations regarding
your goal and intentions;
because they can finish up in various unpredictable
ways, but still satisfactory.

d)     Feel very grateful for all the things you
have in your life.
Consider that it could have always been much
worse like, no house to live, unemployment
and lack of money, loneliness, serious
disease, etc.

e)     Have an interesting, inspiring and motivating
life purpose, that will enhance the possibilities 
for you to have a happy life.

f)     Take simple, but regular exercise like 
walking every day.
A daily workout will be releasing endorphins
in your brain;    and as a consequence, you
will be feeling peaceful, contented and happier.

g)     Take chances, be fearless, ignore what
other
people do or say, trust yourself, and work 
hard for what you want to achieve for yourself.

h)     Never feel sorry for yourself or for
whatever
has happened in your past.
Never feel sorry for any failures you have
experienced until now.
Because all those have given you knowledge,
understanding, wisdom and strength;
as well as
making you powerful for what is
coming next.

i)     Spend time only with the right people.
People who are positive, supportive and
really
happy themselves.

j)     Be kind and caring to yourself and the 
other people.
Always defend and protect yourself;
and forgive whoever has hurt you in any way.

k)     Practice relaxation techniques like, deep
breathing, meditation, short breaks from
whatever
you are doing;
in order to clear your mind and calm down.

l)     Spend at least twenty minutes (20) outdoors
every day.
Especially near the water, sea or lake,
in spring
weather conditions;    in order to boost
your mood,
thinking, memory and overall happiness.

m)    Sleep at least six (6) hours every night;
because it affects your positivity level.
If you are sleep deprived you will become more
sensitive to negative emotions, and general
unhappiness.

 

Thomas Eakins (1844 – 1916), Arcadia ,1883

 

Good Spirits

 

Always try to respect and trust your goals.
Enjoy your life, and find the right balance
between preparing for the future and living
in the present moment;    before it is too late.

Do appreciate what you have now, instead
of keep looking constantly for something
different, thinking that it might be better.

Pursuing happiness is a genetic desire of
all human beings.
According to research, though, setting your
happiness as your main goal, can actually
have the opposite effect, and make you
unhappy.

This is so because, putting all your time and
effort to achieving happiness, not only you will
finally miss living your life in the present
moment;    but also, you will never ever know
whether you have actually approached your
goal.

Because definite and exact happiness is a
mystery, and it depends completely on your
own personal viewpoint, understanding and
overall attitude.

Also note that, after middle age most people
start feeling happier naturally.
According to research, older people develop
different approach to life as:

1)     Hunting for specific circumstances that
will excite, uplift and inspire them.

2)     Eliminating negative social connections,
and associating only with positive ones.

3)     Leaving behind all their past failures,
and feeling free to pursue their current general
well being, satisfaction, tranquillity and
pleasure.

4)     Focus and remember only positive situations
and experiences, ignoring all the negative ones.

Happiness is your own personal choice.

 

 

 

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Camouflage!

 

Hi there!

 

Lin, a forty three year old married woman,
was going through one of the most difficult
and traumatic stages in her life:
she had caught her husband cheating.

Lin was totally devastated;
feeling heartbroken, bitter, resentful, angry
and completely at a loss.
Her pain was so unbearable, that she was
crying every day.

She didn’t have the slightest idea what to do,
and how to handle this shocking situation.
But suddenly one day,
I can’t let this terrible event destroy me.
I must fight for me, and my own happiness.
I must accept, honour and trust myself;
I must start loving me again .

She said to herself out loud, wiping the tears
from her swollen eyes  —  and promising to
herself that these bitter tears will be the 
last ones.

 

Bright Sun over the Ocean

 

Plain Brown Wrapper

 

Consciously determining to accept and love
yourself is the most vital decision you will
ever 
make  in your life  —  and this will
certainly 
judge your whole future.

Connecting deeply with yourself is definitely
a tough, long process you have to learn;
and the main way to learn this, is only to be
told and loved by other people in your life.

It is only through your personal relationships
that you will learn to feel safe and secure;
you will free yourself and start appreciating
who you really are.

You will become your own best friend, and you
will finally develop a positive mental attitude
towards life.
Here are some warning signs that you do need
to 
learn this process:

1)     You always compare yourself to other
people.

2)     You constantly feel insecure, afraid,
worried and anxious
.
3)     You easily accept people hurting you, and
taking advantage of you.
4)     You always feel worthless and a failure,
not 
deserving anything good in life.
5)     You constantly need to be together with
other 
people.
6)     You never express your feelings and emotions.

 

Pink Flower

 

Red Herring

 

The two main reasons it is so hard and difficult
to accept and love yourself, are as follows:

a)     Your genetic family.

Most people were raised by parents who never
taught them to appreciate themselves;
because most likely, they themselves were not
taught either, by their own parents before.

b)     Culture and Education

Our society’s icons sadly, are based only on
external images like:
status, youth, financial situation, sex appeal,
social connections, and all the same.

 

As soon as you realise that you must break
all the stereotypes;    and be determined and
fearless to do so    only then you will be
able to connect with your inner self and
accept it.
At the same time, you will also become more
understanding about the other people, as well.

Become self-conscious, acknowledge, appreciate
and love yourself.
You do not need to change anything;
just see and recognise your true self    discover
who you really are.

 

Calm Beach

 

Summons To Contest

 

There are some actions you need to take in 
order to feel deep love for yourself.

a)     Follow your heart, your dreams, your passions
and your own feelings;    laugh and feel happy.

b)     Do only what makes you personally joyful,
without seeking to impress others or listening to
other people’s opinions;    be true to yourself.

c)     Establish your own personal position in 
the world, without comparing yourself to others.

d)     Prioritise what is most important to you,
learn to say No, and distance yourself from all
unsupportive and negative people.

e)     Feel confident, courageous and fearless;
and believe in yourself and your abilities.

f)     Live in the present moment, educate yourself,
and grow as a person.

g)     Think positively, and be grateful for all the
good things you have in your life.

h)     Take good care of yourself, and be organised
with your time, your home and your finances.

i)     Be understanding, truthful and forgiving,
not only with yourself but also with the others.

j)     Enjoy being alone;    relax, read, write, walk
in nature, take photographs.

k)     Pay attention to your intuition;   your inner
quiet voice will guide your decisions in life.

l)     Forget all your old beliefs and negative
situations;    just move forward.

m)    Connect with a higher power, and fill your
heart with kindness and love.

 

Green Garden

 

Sum And Substance

 

Loving yourself is a healing process;    so you
will need to practice the necessary steps in 
order to achieve it.

Firstly, you will need to recognise that you are
totally responsible for your own feelings;
you must accept them and learn from them.

Also you will need to explore your true
thinking as well as your exact beliefs.

After having done all these, you can start
researching in order to find the best and most
efficient 
ways to heal yourself from all previous
self 
neglect.

Now you are ready to start loving yourself
exactly 
as you are.

The secret is to be truly aware of your thoughts,
emotions and actions;
your strengths and weaknesses, and accept both.

This is the most vital step for you to take in order
to have a complete, satisfied and happy life.

 

You yourself, as much as anybody in the
entire universe, deserve your love and affection .

Siddhartha Gautama
c. 563/480  –  c. 483/400 BCE

 

 

 

Esprit!

 

Hello!

 

Sao woke up this morning with a heavy and dark
negative feeling.

Her eyes were unwilling to open, her mouth and
lips were as dry as dessert sand,
and her body
completely unmotivated to move at all.

Although she had an extremely busy day in front
of 
her, her mind was dull and flat, and she knew
her whole 
body was absolutely unfit to be seen
anywhere.

She was feeling very irritable, resentful and
generally in a
bad mood.
I must try to feel more positive and get my
energy 
back.
I’ve so many jobs to do today, and I don’t

feel alive in any way to pursue them.

She thought, while putting a huge amount of
effort 
to try and get out of her bed ……

 

Flowers

 

Out – And – Out

 

Your thoughts create your emotions.
So, the way you think and feel will shape the
course of your actions
.

So if you wake up worried, concerned and
frightened about your daily obligations and
commitments, your whole
day will be another
stressful experience.

In order to be in control of your thoughts, every
morning when you wake up ask yourself a few
powerful questions like,

What can I do today to make this new day
amazing 
for me?,
or

What do I have to look forward to this new day?,
or

What are the things I am grateful for in my life?“.

These questions will put your mind in to a positive
and happy mode for the rest of the day.

But you know by now that you are in full control
of your thoughts.
Consequently, you have the 
choice to begin
your day feeling positive and
full of energy to
face your day’s challenges.

 

Flowering Bush

 

Hot Leads

 

Follow the mentioned suggestions to wake up feeling
positive, and stay active, productive and happy
throughout the day, every day:

a)     As soon as you wake up each morning, stay
still and relaxed,
breathing naturally and trying
gently and smoothly
to enter the reality of your
day.

b)     Stretch your whole body well in every direction,
and yawn widely to feel the energy flowing inside
you.

c)     Breathe deeply, smile, even laugh, and feel
grateful.

Keep your mind empty at this stage, so you can
remain 
calm and peaceful.

d)     Oppose any negative thoughts now entering
your mind,
and focus only on all positive and
pleasant things
about your day.

e)     Try to stay only in the present moment in order
to feel serene and joyful.
Ignore completely any thoughts connected to past
or future events.

f)     Prioritise your jobs and all your tasks, and
eliminate 
whatever is not important, essential or
necessary.

g)     Pursue only positive things during the day like,
going to a club/gym, talk to someone you like, a
friend or a family member, cook a
healthy meal,
get absorbed in your chosen hobby, or enjoy whatever
work you do.

h)     Stay away from people, places, situations, and
whatever else
makes you feel stressed, anxious and
generally unhappy.

i)     Listen to the music of your choice, laugh, have
fun, eat nutritious food, and enjoy all the little things
in life.

j)     Deal with all your daily challenges and other
problematic situations in the best
way you can,
staying calm and focused.

k)     Every now and then, stop and reflect on your
emotions, feelings and concerns, and act accordingly.

 

When you arise in the morning , think of what
a precious privilege it is to be alive  —  to breathe,
to think, to enjoy, to love .

Marcus Aurelius
121  –  180

 

Realise that you are in control of your day;
and choose
to make it a wonderful and outstanding
one for
yourself.

Be mindful and aware of each day;
because every passing day is a bonus to embrace,
appreciate
and be thankful for.

 

Each morning we are born again.
What we do today is what matters most .

Siddhartha Gautama
c.563/480  –  c.483/400 BCE


Have a beautiful and peaceful day!

 

 

Bona Fide!

 

Hi there!

 

They all met in their usual bar for an evening out,
and a good private chat about their issues of interest.
What are your experiences of being  middle aged  
now? Emi asked.

It’s a bit of a challenge to feel very positive and 
maintain my beauty, when I see my ageing face and
body in
the mirror every morning Ele replied.

I find it somewhat demanding to keep so much
active or to think so quickly as before;
sometimes I prefer to take it more
slowly in
general  Mar said.

For me it seems to be the emotional  side that is
more difficult to handle;   many times I caught myself
not feeling so happy as I used to previously Cat said.

I understand all these issues you mention, because
I feel similarly at times.
But I must say that, I personally see a huge benefit
being at this age now.
I do feel completely free to be myself Emi said and
smiled.
And she did mean it, absolutely.

 

Woman pondering

 

Twenty – Four Carat

 

Life can be ambitious and overwhelming when you
are going through the middle age years;
that is
between the ages of forty five ( 45 ) and sixty
five ( 65 )
years old.

Some people fight this, while some individuals deny
it altogether.
A number of people get depressed, and some others
become completely confused and puzzled.

But at the same time for many people, this period
can be a very powerful, satisfying, successful and
rewarding
stage in their life.

In order to feel really positive about your middle
age years, you need to practise the one and most
important thing for you    and this is Self Love.

This is the time when you need to examine carefully
what direction your life is taking, and work towards
this target.
Life is all about moving forward, and experience
whatever is coming your way.

 

Red Cactus

 

Manna From Heaven

 

Here are a number of benefits you enjoy at this
twenty ( 20 ) year stage of your life:

a)     You feel you have collected valuable experience
and knowledge during the previous years;
and as a result, you can now develop and improve
your life as necessary.

b)     You know that each and every day offers you
a new opportunity to love and be loved.

c)     You recognise that life is too short;
so you try to enjoy every moment, follow your
passions, and you are really grateful for your
total existence.

d)     You realise that you deserve to live in peace
and harmony;
consequently, you do not allow other people  to
destroy your well-being and happiness.

e)     You are not afraid to be yourself, and support
your beliefs and the things that are important
to you.   

f)     You still feel you possess the female sex appeal,
to attract other people to you.

g)     You acknowledge and value highly your own
worth and qualities;
you do not rely on your external appearance any
more as when you were younger, and you do
like yourself for that.

 

Balcony Scene

 

Common Sense

 

The fundamental thing to consider here is the
actual freedom you have from now on, like:

1)     Not having to try hard to succeed in your
profession any more.
2)     Not having to try and please anybody
apart from yourself.
3)     Not having to feel guilty about any personal
or professional issues.
4)     Not having to compete for anything in your
life any more.
5)     Not having to feel stressed and anxious
about missing deadlines.


Believe that now you are at the heyday of your

strength, patience and understanding.

You are free to express yourself as you feel.
You are free to accept your appearance as it is.
You are free to accept your whole life.
You are free to just be.

Growing old is your biggest advantage and benefit,
because not everybody does.

Honour and celebrate your age.

You are here  —  Now !

 

 

 

Quagmire!

 

Hi there!

 

……..” I don’t know what to do;    I feel stuck
and confused, it wasn’t meant to be like this.
My life is desolate and empty;    and I feel so very
lonely    although I seem to have a good marriage,
a fantastic home, a beautiful car, and enough
money to spend.

It still feels as if I can not move on with my life,
and
follow the path I want;    I can not live the
life I’ve
always wished.
How can I break free now and be myself?
I feel so helpless!

But, just a minute!   I do have the Choice!
The Choice of my thinking, the Choice of my
feeling, the Choice of my doing, and the Choice
of my whole being.

I can refuse to do things as usually, and I can stop
being captive to my old routines.
I have the power to move forward and pursue
new goals.
I am willing, eager and ready to carry out the 
change in my life ……..”

 

Rock and Mountain

 

Breathing Space

 

In our every day life we have to face a succession
of challenges and messages, in order to be able to
reach higher levels of consciousness.
While this is happening during our every day living,
it is 
possible that we can become stuck  on very
specific 
situations.

This is happening only because we have already
created a certain cage according to our personal
reality, in which we live.
As a consequence, we are not able to see the big
picture.
In order to improve the situation and evolve, we 
need to change our whole mindset and attitude.


The Reasons of Feeling Stuck

 

a)     You have nothing to look forward to.
It is absolutely vital to have goals to achieve, so
that your life has a purpose.

b)     You live in fear of any change.
It is important to experience different new things
in your life in order to feel fulfilled.

c)     You are a perfectionist.
Nothing in life is perfect;   so learn not to expect
too much from yourself or any one else.

d)    You feel worthless and you do not love yourself.
Self love is necessary for feeling happy, as well as
realising that the most important person in your
life is You.

e)     You live a very stressful life.
You need to relax and prioritise your tasks, obligations
and responsibilities in order to feel more satisfied, 
as well as learning to be patient with your 
relationships.

f)     You do not appreciate your good luck.
Certainly you need to be grateful for all the things
you have in your life, and never compare yourself
with other people.

g)     You are not capable of recognising  yourself
as a separate individual.
Definitely you need to understand your own values.

h)     You have negative influences.
Certainly you need to avoid associating yourself
with negative people in order to start feeling more
positive in your own life.

 

Ocean Rocks

 

High Signs

 

Here are some signs for you to identify whether
you are actually stuck:

1)     You have no interest, energy, enthusiasm or
any motivation at all to do anything.

2)     You are complaining and moaning all the time
about everything, as well as criticising and accusing
every body else.

3)     You have become a cynic, distrusting people’s
motives, and accepting every situation considering
it to be 
futile and worthless.

 

The Realisation of Feeling Stuck

 

Understand the following facts whenever you
find yourself stuck:

i)     Realise that your mind has been trained to
believe certain things, and behave accordingly.
Feeling stuck is only a feeling;
and not a fact of life.

ii)     Realise that feeling stuck means that you 
have reached the edge, and now you need to
change your course:    your heart, your mindset,
your attitude, your routines and habits.

iii)    Realise that you need to accept your
situation 
without resistance , and surrender to
being stuck.

The situation will improve because it is only in
your mind.

 

The Questions to Ask

 

Ask yourself the following when you feel stuck
in order to help yourself make the change:

a)     Who you want to be, and what you want
to do with your life from now on.

b)     Do you need to distance yourself from your
current circle of relationships:   close friends,
relatives or family;    in order to become a more
positive and happy person.
Draining and toxic people must be eliminated
from your life.

c)     Do you need to change your own attitude, 
and start thinking more positively about yourself.

d)     Do you need to start feeling more grateful
for what you have in you life right now, as well
as everything else around you.

e)     Do you always find different excuses for not
doing anything to change your current situation.
If you do, or you are afraid, worried and anxious,
stop this immediately, and start acting.

 

Road Rocks

 

The Getaway

 

Here are the suggestions about what you can
do to free yourself:

1)     Realise that your life is your own responsibility.
Consequently, be honest with yourself and decide
to change the way you look at things;
change your whole mindset.

2)     Decide to stop paying any attention to whatever
other people think and say;
otherwise you will be their prisoner forever.
Listen only to your soul, and free yourself once
and 
for all.

3)     Decide to take action now without giving
excuses any more.

Feel confident, motivated, fearless, and move
forward.

Stop being apathetic, and take all the necessary
steps now.

Focus only on what you need to do in order to
bring about change.

4)     Feel grateful for what you have in you life.
Find joy and fulfilment, satisfaction and pleasure
in all the things life has given you until now, without
comparing yourself to any one else.

5)     Realise that it is absolutely pointless to blame
any body else for your current situation.
Search and find the actual reasons within yourself,
and take full control of your own life.

6)     Understand that the way you feel is not the
reality of the things.
So avoid fantasising and having high expectations;
but keep your mind and emotions under full control.

7)     See the big picture and think positively.
Set new goals for yourself, and feel continuously
motivated to pursue them.

8)     Understand that there is always a solution to
any problem    perhaps not the one you would
like, but nonetheless, the solution is there.

9)     Be flexible, explore all your options, and choose
the one that suits you most.
This is the only way you will become unstuck.

 

Rhododendron

 

Mental Image     

 

Feeling stuck is necessary, so that you can enjoy
better things coming your way.
Living is difficult, but you can make it an
enjoyable experience.

Feel good and positive, and accept your current
situation.
Be authentic and patient, grow internally, and 
focus on your goals and desires without ignoring
your best supportive relationships.

It is absolutely and utterly your personal choice,
whether you will spend the rest of your life
complaining 
and feeling fearful, negative and
stuck;

or you will be powerful, positive and strong to
move forward to where life takes you.

It is a clear fact that if you really want to do
something
you will always do it  (unless you are
seriously ill without any hope of surviving).

Clear your head, be determined, driven and
persistent,
and start living now.

Conquer all!

 

 

Antipositivism!

 

Hi there!

 

Kyla went to work this morning having a strong
premonition that something was going to happen.
She sat at her desk preparing her files, when her
telephone rang;   she answered nervously, and
” can you come to my office immediately, please? “,
her manager asked.


She left what she was doing and hurried in his office;

Twenty minutes later she emerged looking worried.
He gave me this difficult project, and although I believe
I know how to handle it, if I don’t complete it properly I
will suffer the consequences.


As a result, he will not be happy with me  —   and it

will certainly be all my fault.
What if he becomes very upset with me and decides
to fire me!
Then, what will I do    I will have no money to live!
Since I have no other savings, I will not be able to pay
my bills or buy my food.
I also have a mortgage, which if I don’t repay, most
likely the bank will take my home “.


She kept on thinking ad nauseam all these negative

scenarios, and feeling her anxiety mounting ……..

 

 

The Insurance Policy

 

Many years ago, when I was in my very early twenties
I was still living with my parents, in a strict and
traditional environment.

I remember very clearly one night, I was driving back
home after having a good night out with some friends.


It was much after midnight, and the roads were almost

completely empty.
I was driving very fast, and continuously thinking all
the worst things that could happen to me when I would
arrive home.


I was imagining my mother protesting and complaining

about my independent attitude, as well as screaming
and objecting my thoughtless and careless actions.
I used to worry so much every time I went out at night,
almost to the point of complete anxiety.
The truth is, nothing of all these fears actually came into
fruition.

I usually went back home nicely, everybody was already
in bed, so I did the same thing very quietly and carefully.


But I always felt that if I expected the worst I would

not be upset and distressed when it happened.
I used negativity as my insurance.
This attitude was, and always is very wrong and a huge
mistake;   because things
could actually have happened
according to my fears.

Negativity can very well influence the outcome;
and even worse, according to research, self-fulfilling
predictions do really take place.


Consequently, the best thing to do is to disregard any

negative thoughts that come into your mind, and
try to imagine a positive result instead.

 

Red Plant

 

Sing The Blues

 

Thoughts, either they are positive or negative, are
generated in the subconscious mind.
They are created based on your past external and
genetic conditioning, as well as your various predictions
about
your future and how you perceive your present life.


Thoughts are stored naturally in your brain as memories.
When you experience negative feelings, they start
fighting against the normal flow of your life, and
as a consequence you are suffering.


Your thoughts are just pure energy passing through,

with no power at all to influence anything.
The problem starts as soon as you start associating
yourself with any of them, obsessing and therefore
suffering.


They have not any control whatsoever, until the moment

you start feeding and giving them energy by paying
attention to them.
Actually, if you ignore them completely they will lose
their dominance and fade away.


You do need to let all this negative energy flow away

by not being interested in it at all.
All our negative thoughts are connected to the following
categories:

*     Exaggerated and excessive reactions to various issues.
*     Impossible and unrealistic expectations.
*     Outrageous and irrational thinking to extremes.
*     Imagining and speculating what people think.
    Disastrous and destructive assumptions of a situation.
    Criticising and insulting one’s self.
    Predicting and visualising a negative future.
*     Minimising the positive and enlarging the negative.


Avoid doing all the above mentioned in order not to be

tormented by negativity;
and focus your attention on positive endings.

 

Rhododendron

 

Endowed With Reason

 

The human mind has naturally evolved to create
thoughts.
You must realise that you are not your thoughts.
These mental perceptions are only forms of energy.
Restraining and stopping your negative thoughts is
extremely difficult if you do not use the right technique.


You certainly need to practice how to disassociate

yourself from these thoughts, and show no interest
in them whatsoever.
This is the only true way to cause your thoughts to lose
their power, die out and disappear.


The following techniques will help you practice how

to do exactly this:

a)     Focus all your attention on a specific point from
five to twenty minutes.
This point can be anything you choose like,
an external sound, some music, counting worry beads,
parts of your body or your breath.

b)     Observe your mind without showing any interest
at all.    
Let all this negative energy together with its images,
called thoughts, flow away without involving yourself
in any way.


Thoughts do not really exist  —  it is only you who brings

them to reality, by focusing on them.

Realise that the only real and true way to stop them is
Not to use any force, but Only to Stop Paying Attention
to them completely and absolutely.


Good Luck!

 

 

Självtillit!

 

Hi there!

 

Greg had many means of escape from his emotional
needs, and connect with other people;
yet, he was feeling miserable and depressed.

He needed others to make him feel happy;
he wanted encouragement about his professional choices;
he constantly required reassurance about the actions he
was taking in his personal life;
and he was always seeking support from his family,
friends and colleagues.

Greg, as most people, was programmed to have all his
needs, either physical or emotional, met by other 
people, and not himself.

So, whenever he was not getting all the things he needed
in his life, he was blaming everybody else for his
misfortune and complete unhappiness.

Greg had totally forgotten how to belong to himself !

 

Bush Clinging to rock

 

Sure Of Oneself

 

These days most individuals rely hugely on other people
to figure out all the things for them.
As a consequence, they become psychologically weak,
they have no confidence in themselves, and finally they
fail to succeed in their life.

But in order to find total happiness in your life, you must
realise that the only thing you actually need is to be
emotionally self-reliant.
You must understand that you have to stop depending
on others for your happiness and peace of mind.

At the end of the day, either you develop self-confidence
and independence, and you accept that your own right
judgement will guide you through your actions;
or you will remain an eternal slave to the judgement,
right or wrong, of the other people.

Self-reliance is to deny absolutely and completely to
depend on any one else, but your own self for your
happiness in life.
To actually rely only on your own honest, genuine,
and meticulous thoughts, drive and actions.

 

Flowers

 

The Explanation

 

The most common reason for the majority of people
not to have developed self-reliance is that, 
as children they always relied on their parents or relatives
to provide for all their emotional needs.

Then they grow up and become adults without having
learnt to be emotionally independent individuals.
As a result, they always expect someone else to help
them find the happiness they need in their life.

The even worse thing is that, when things do not work
out as they expect them to, they start blaming and accusing
everyone else;     and consider themselves a sufferer and
a poor victim of the circumstances.

Certainly, this is the most inappropriate and definitely
wrong thing to do;
because the real and authentic happiness can be found
Only inside ourselves    and Never from others.

 

Garden

 

The Advantages

 

Being self-reliant and independent means,

   Under any circumstances, you will be able to
find numerous solutions to your life’s various
situations and be successful.

*     You will develop initiative, and acquire 
knowledge to decide for yourself what is good
and useful for you.

   You will never feel lonely, even when you are
sitting alone.

   You will become psychologically strong,
determined and resilient.
You will be able to handle all difficult situations
better and without being hurt.

   You will be feeling internal happiness and
satisfaction in the present moment;
because you yourself will be creating it.

 

Bush on the coast

 

Home Rule

 

If you want happiness you will have to become
self-reliant    and here is how to develop this
vital tool.

a)     Trust Yourself

Never ask for other people’s approval and consent,
whenever you think about any personal issues.
You only need to trust your own instincts and your
judgement in order to handle any situation,
even if you fail at the end.

b)      Acknowledge Your Decisions

Always be accountable for your decisions;
believe in them, and follow them through to
the end.
Become your own advocate.

c)     Be Determined

Always fight your own battles.
Get to know yourself well, and learn how
to turn your setbacks and failures into
advantageous opportunities.

d)     Be Responsible

Do not blame others for your unhappiness;
do not complain about everything around you;
and do not ever feel you are a victim.
Always take full responsibility for your own
emotions, thoughts and actions.

e)     Avoid Negativity

Avoid completely or spend less time with 
people who influence you against your will
and personal choices.
Become emotionally independent, and enjoy
a happier life.

 

Purple Bush

 

Carte Blanche

 

Inherently all humans want to be independent.
Unfortunately, our families and society teach us
to be dependent    and the majority of people
stay so;    because sadly, this has become a really
deep and strong habit since childhood.

As such, certainly it can be changed.
But only with very hard work, and extreme and
heroic willingness;    to teach your subconscious
mind to dig deeper into this imposed habit.

Otherwise, you will remain a dependent person
forever    and certainly far away from your
natural path to do things your own way.

This, of course, will result in your being a very
unhappy and totally neurotic person.

You need to develop your personal initiative
according to your own principles and perspectives.
Obviously, on your way you may have to suffer
the consequences of your actions in order to learn,
and eventually change this forced programming.

It is absolutely important to understand that,
if you do not become independent you will never be
free to 
achieve complete happiness in your life.

Because you will always be needing validation,
recognition and acceptance in your personal as
well as your professional life.

When you finally manage to become truly self
reliant, you will be able to be more efficient and
understanding of all the circumstances around you.

You will be able to make the right decisions for
yourself, and change, if possible, or accept what is,
without worrying about other people’s thoughts,
opinions, judgement and actions.

Self-reliance is being absolutely free from the 
influences of others, and completely responsible
for your own needs, in order to create the life you
really want for yourself.

Embrace Freedom !!