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Trepidatio!

 

Hi there!

 

During the Paleozoic era, in the Devonian period,
around 370 million years ago, the first amphibians
developed from the bony fish,  whose fins evolved
into extremities.
These creatures were able to live in the water, and
on land as well.

Later on, in the Carboniferous period, around 310
million years ago, the first reptiles evolved from 
the most dominant amphibians.
These reptiles were very primitive, and small lizard
type animals.

Since then and until now, the lizards still have a primeval
brain, which is only concerned with instinctual
behaviours.

 

Frog

 

The Reptilian Brain

 

The amygdalae ( Greek for almonds ), are two almond
shaped groups of neurons located deep in the temporal
lobe of our brain.
Their main concern is,  (a)  basic survival instincts like:
body growth and maintenance, food, reproduction and
fight-flight-freeze;   and  (b)  emotions like:   
fear, anger, memory and pleasure.

This is the most primitive part of our brain  —  and
although it has been developing for almost 280 million
years, it is still similar to the total brain of a Lizard, as
far as its capacity and perception are concerned.

Unfortunately, this Lizard brain’s education is still 
based on the many million years of evolution, without
developing and adjusting    and it 
is most irrelevant to
our modern way of life. 

As a consequence, we choose to behave in such primal,
savage and crude ways, that cause us thousands of
problems during our life.
Those primitive threats of the past do not exist any more,
for us to react in the same way as those prehistoric times.
Therefore, our survival instinct instead of helping us, it is
doing exactly the opposite    hurting us.

Fear, one of the strongest emotions, is an extremely
uncomfortable feeling.
Fear can paralyse you by triggering the fight or flight
response, and actually make you ill.

 

Wild Waves

 

Come Out On Top

 

The physical feelings of fear are very scary, because
your Lizard brain keeps on sending danger signals
to your body;    even though you, yourself, can see that 
there is nothing life threatening, and your fear is 
obviously out of balance.

So you do need to use mental and physical ways to 
overcome this extremely disturbing feeling:

 

M o d u s

 

a)     Realise that fear is only a primeval feeling 
that exists merely to save your life    and most 
likely you are not in a life threatening situation.
Therefore, do not give it any priority, and dissociate
yourself from it.

b)     Decide whether your fear is justified and valuable
in any way at all, or you are simply disrupting and
obstructing yourself from succeeding in your goals.

c)      Know  deeply within yourself that you really are
capable
of handling everything;   and do trust yourself.

d)     Recognise that when you take decisions with 
the attitude of  just in case , this again is your fear
disguised as protection.
So refrain from any Just In Case resolutions.

e)     Ask for spiritual guidance to assist you in fighting
your fear.
This will make you feel connected to an entity that
is greater than yourself.

f)     Always, try to surround yourself only with brave
and courageous 
people, who can make you feel positive,
strong and inspired.

g)     Always, try to stay active and exercise on a daily 
basis to take your mind away from your fears.

 

Clouds

 

Bring To Pass

 

Overcoming your fears is very difficult and challenging;
but when you have finally managed to conquer them,
you will immediately feel relieved and free.

Defeating fear is a skill.
Learn it well, in order to live a peaceful, successful and
happy life.

” Men are not afraid of things, but of how they view them ”
  Epictetus   c. 55 AD  –  AD 135

” There is no illusion greater than fear ”
Lao-Tzu    6th – 5th century BCE  –  531 BCE

 

 

 

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Rhapsody!

 

Hi there!

 

Lyd was a great author.
She usually wrote seated 
in her desk;
but today it was such a beautiful, 
warm and sunny
spring day, that she decided to 
finish her writing
in her regular cafe, not very 
far from her home.

She sat in her usual corner table on the balcony,
ordered her familiar drink and started preparing
her notes in order to finish her writing.

As she was sitting there writing, she started noticing
all these people walking past on the pavement.
She observed how many young people were hurrying
to work;  a number of youthful women carrying their
shopping and some mothers pushing their prams.

All these people seem as if they have a specific
purpose, and they seem pleased with it.
I wonder, when all these people pass the age of 50 and they
lose their life stage activities, how will they manage
to find happiness in their later years ………! “

 

Blue flowers

 

Moment Of Truth

 

Midlife, that is the twenty year period between the
ages of forty five (45) and sixty five (65) is a nerve-racking
time without a doubt.

Most people have to struggle with their personal and
social circumstances, and some of them with their
professional ones as well.

Many individuals feel disturbed, nervous, miserable
and worried about their future and health;
so it is very difficult 
for them to feel particularly happy.

All life transitions are mentally agonising.
You feel angry, sad, empty, lost, confused and frightened.
But they are a natural part of life, and you can never
avoid them.

Anything can happen;    from losing your job  or
retiring, from having to face a loved one’s illness or
death, from downsizing your house or moving to
a new city or even country.

Finally you may be feeling sick and tired or bored and
lost 
your purpose.
The secret is to be able to do whatever it takes to
find happiness and get the most out of your life at
any stage you are.

 

Yellow Rose

 

Turn Of The Tide

 

There are always a lot of things you can do to 
enhance and strengthen your satisfaction during
these life transitions, as follows:

a)     Acknowledge that circumstances are changing;
evaluate and determine what is going to make you
strong and happy from now on.
Follow what really matters to you most.

b)     Look after yourself physically and mentally in order
to be able to face all the new changes in your life.
Self-care must be your priority now.

c)     Follow a proper diet and exercise regularly
to keep your body and mind active and healthy.

d)     Develop a few interests and hobbies.
Be confident and follow whatever makes you feel
fascinated and enthusiastic.

e)     Socialise and connect with other people.
Doing this will make you feel mentally healthy
and much more pleased.
Try to maintain good relationships throughout
your life.

f)     Connect with your spouse as deeply as possible,
to keep your relationship and marriage solid and
strong forever.
How happy you are in your relationship will influence
your total health, in a similar way to self care.

 

Pink Bell Flowers

 

Zero Hour

 

The important thing is to recognise what you have
in your life now, and really feel very grateful about it.

Be most grateful you are alive and able to breathe,
and enjoy everything around you.

Take responsibility and create your own happiness;
find meaning and purpose in your life, and make
this new chapter a joyous one.

Make your personal contentment your priority now.
Believe you can, be patient, and always remember
that the biggest secret of well-being is just living
in the present.

Happiness and peace of mind are absolutely necessary
if you want to 
have good health and live a long life.

Enjoy your journey !!

 

 

 

Wellspring!

 

Hi there!

 

Juan Ponce De Leon lived between 1474 and 1521.
He was a Spanish conquistador and the first governor
of Puerto Rico.

De Leon led an expedition in the year 1513 to La Florida
searching for the Fountain of Youth, because he wanted
to regain his youthfulness.

He was later told by the natives of the area, that what
he was looking for existed only in the waters of South
Beimeni in the Bahamas.

The Fountain’s water was supposed to be so powerful
that it could restore youth and longevity to anyone
who drank it ……

 

Der Jungbrunnen
Lucas Cranach the Elder, 1472 – 1553

 

Open And Shut

 

During our youth years we all want to be older, to
dress better and to be taken seriously by the others.
When we actually grow older, we all desperately
wish we were younger and remained younger,  for
the rest of our life.

But as the years go, at some point, we just realise
that
we have eventually become that older person,
we always wanted
to be when we were young.

Consequently, we now have to accept that there is
no point in fighting this very natural process, but
accept and celebrate all changes it is bringing with
it, either physical, mental or emotional.

 

Voul-Fount-0013

 

The Fairy Stories

 

There are certain myths about growing older.
These myths should never be allowed to influence
your way of life in any way.
Take all necessary steps to avoid them at all costs.

a)     Mental and Physical downturn:
This is not necessarily a DNA destination;
but something that can be greatly reduced by
leading an active, healthy and creative lifestyle.

b)     Peace and Quiet:
Again this is not true for most people;   living a
miserable life is not what they want.
Instead many wish very much to develop relationships,
either of a romantic nature or various friendly
associations.

c)     Contribution Inability:
Today’s adults are very able to lead in business, support
various activities, assist in education or help with
charity and volunteer work.

d)     Youthful Appearance:
Although people’s external image changes over time,
they still want to look smart, attractive and important.

e)      Slow Down and Retire:
A great number of adults today, actually want to pursue
different and new projects, and develop special interests.

 

 

The Blessings

 

Growing older is the greatest and most fundamental
enemy for all humans.
Still, you should accept this course gracefully, because
according to several studies, it is bringing with it a good
number of benefits.

 

I.     Physical

 

a)    The immune system will be stronger due to having
been
through lots of epidemics during the years, and have
developed resistance to so many viruses.
As a consequence, you will be catching less colds and flu.

b)    The older you get the less allergy attacks you will
be suffering;   and whenever you do suffer an attack,
it will last for a much shorter time.

c)    Ageing establishes a more intelligent brain, due
to accumulated knowledge through the years.
You will be able to solve problems more efficiently
and take smarter financial decisions;   also you will
develop better understanding and wiser judgement.

d)    It is now established that older people have more
frequent, satisfactory and better quality sex.
So you will be enjoying yourself more.

e)    As you grow older you will be losing a number of
your sweat glands;   consequently, you will be sweating
much less than when you were younger.

f)    Older adults suffer less headaches and migraines.
If you happen to develop one, it will be much milder
and it will last for a shorter time, than the younger people.

g)    Ageing contributes to better sleep during the night;
therefore, you will be feeling less tired, sleepy and
drained during the day.

 

 

II.   Mental and Emotional

 

a)    You will be feeling grateful for all the experiences
you
have accumulated over time, and you will develop
the self-confidence you always wanted.

b)    You will view life from a different perspective.
Everything now will start falling into place for you,
and you will know what all the fuss was about all
the previous years.

c)    You will learn not to be influenced by other people’s
opinions and expectations, about how you look or how
you live your life or whatever else you do.

d)    You will become less emotional about various
happenings,
and you will worry to a lesser degree about
most things in life.

e)    You will learn that it is absolutely useless to compare
yourself to other people, and your expectations about
your productivity will reduce.

f)    You will finally start appreciating yourself much more,
and you will, at last, know who you really are as a person.

g)    You will understand that you need to focus on yourself,
your desires and passions, your purpose and your goals,
in order to achieve a happier and healthier future life.

h)    You will certainly and definitely realise that each and
every day of your life must be lived to the fullest.

Ageing is inevitable.
Since it is something that we can not avoid, it is better
to embrace it, and feel good about it.

Keep on learning and discovering.
Change your beliefs and the way you think, and live in
the present.

Move on and look forward to new things happening
all the time.

Be cool !!!

 

 

Solitaire!

 

Hi there!

 

…… “ As long as I remember, since my early twenties
I have been a person who liked collecting material
things.
It started with clothes and jewellery;   then I moved
to money;   later on I started collecting furniture
and other house items.

All these made me feel happy at the time.
Although I went through a number of hardships
during the years, I never realised that all these
things I was gathering did not really matter to me
at all.

A few years ago, I suddenly understood that I had
accumulated much more than I needed in my life.
I was still feeling dissatisfied and disappointed;
and I always felt as if something was missing.

I knew, I needed desperately to take some action.
So I sold most of my jewellery, I disposed of almost
all my clothes, and I sold almost all my furniture
and other home items.

Doing all this took me a couple of years, but I must
admit, afterwards I felt remarkably free and ready
to move on …… “.

 

Blue Lagoon

 

Mind Trip

 

There are many things in this world that are priceless.
But the most invaluable possessions are not our houses,
or our money or our cars.
They happen to be only a few things, which are not
even so obvious  —  and we only realise them when
we lose them.

So here are these few extremely important things in life:

 

a)     Health

Most people take their health for granted.
They neglect their physical and mental well-being.
They disregard exercise, and as a consequence they
are unfit and overweight.
They forget all about their diet and nutritional needs,
so they feel poorly.

Take all the necessary steps to ensure you are in good
health;    because without it, your life is a hopeless
and intolerable journey.

 

b)     Freedom

The majority of people do not have complete freedom.
That is, freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom
of change or freedom to be themselves.
Consequently, they live an unfulfilled life and in misery.

Freedom is a choice.
You need to be willing, determined and make sacrifices.

Take action to minimise or eliminate any boundaries
and ties in your life.
Do what really makes you happy, because this is the most
important thing for you.

 

c)     Purpose

So many  individuals just exist because they were born.
Purpose is the reason you live your life as you do, whatever
that may be.
It is the motive and the passion for you to keep going.

It enriches your every day life with special meaning and
intention.
Purpose is your guiding light in the darkness of life.
Live your life with purpose.

 

d)     Time

All humans on earth have the exact same amount of
time
in hours every day.
Nobody can ever buy more of it or take back time
already spent.

The way you use your time dictates how successful or
doomed you will be in your life.
Almost all people complain that they never have enough
time to do what they want, and they feel stressed,
anxious and depressed.

But time is always there for them to use it effectively
and efficiently  —  if only they were more organised.

Time is your whole life, and reflects your personal
values constantly.
The choices you make every day.
Use it wisely.

 

e)     Relationships

Finally, our loved ones are our support in life.
They make it interesting and entertaining.

Cherish them, be honest and sincere with them,
and you will feel happier and at peace.

 

Orange Flowers

 

The Bottom Line

 

These are the five most important things in life
to have.

Make certain that you own them, feel grateful
you do, and always act accordingly.

Life is too short.
So focus on the important and the 
necessary things;
and ignore all the rest.

 

 

 

Ground Zero!

 

Hi there!

 

Love is an extremely strong and very effective disorder
affecting our nervous system.
It is a chemical means developed through our evolution
to benefit and promote our species to survive and prosper.

It helps us develop and maintain relationships;
it encourages us to defend and protect ourselves physically
and mentally;
it makes us want very deeply to support our offspring.

In the modern world, the most heroic struggle in one’s
life is to love themselves;   and it really is an awfully
difficult and terribly exhausting thing to do.

Most people neglect their own needs, health and
happiness, because they have been taught to do so
since they were children;
and certainly because loving others is easier than loving
themselves.

And yet, self love is the foundation of the most important
relationship you will ever have  —  the relationship with
yourself.

 

 

Bull’s – Eye

 

Self love is not a state of just feeling good by having a lot
of money, and buying and doing everything we want,
or being narcissistic.

Self love means to accept yourself exactly as you are and
what you are.
It means to know your own qualities and how significant you
are;   to know your purpose and your limits.

Self love means to always look after and be kind to yourself.
It means to really know that you do deserve your love, your
respect, admiration, and appreciation at all times.

Loving yourself is a number of actions that provide you
with confidence, determination and belief in yourself;
you will enjoy peace of mind;   you will demonstrate better
judgement;   and you will savour overall happiness.

You will be able to make the right decisions, and you will
exhibit more love towards other people.
You will be mentally stronger and balanced, and your life
will become simpler.

Certainly it must be emphasized that, self love is not
something temporary and
short-lived    but a continuous
and growing
course of actions.

 

 

End In View

 

The following routines will help you build self love:

a)     Reduce and finally eliminate all negative beliefs
about yourself, either they are routed from your past
or they are self-inflicted.

b)     Stop thinking that you must be perfect in everything
you do in order to be happy.
Perfection does not exist;   nothing in life is perfect.

c)     Focus only on your positive qualities and values,
each and every day.

d)     Be truthful, honest, realistic and sensible.

e)     Do all the things that make you feel good.
Be creative and develop hobbies.

f)     Never compare yourself to other people.
You are a unique person, so compare only to yourself.

g)     Establish healthy, explicit and precise limits to
all your actions and steps.

h)     Always give priority to yourself, because you
have earned it and you deserve to be first.

i)     Find your purpose, meaning and direction in life.
Only then you will be happy and fulfilled.

 

 

j)     Take full responsibility for your own health and
happiness.
Watch your diet, exercise, sleep, rest, relaxation, fun
and relationships.

k)     Surround yourself only with people who love you
and make you feel good, and eliminate all others.

l)     Take risks, examine various opportunities coming
your way, and celebrate your wins at the end.

m)    Every day feel grateful about something in your
life, even if it is something very small, no matter what
else is happening around you.

n)     Be very aware and wise about your own thoughts,
feelings and desires, to be able to keep things under control.

o)     Forgive yourself whenever you make any mistakes,
and try to learn from them.

p)     Envisage yourself being empowered, inspired,
motivated and encouraged.

By practising the above mentioned actions of self love,
you will learn to cherish, honour, respect, accept
and really care for yourself.

Self love is a continuous and steady passage.
Self love is something you can choose and adopt.

Select correctly and enjoy the benefits and rewards.

 

Catharsis!

 

Hi there!

 

It was 09:30am, and as every morning for the last
two and a half years, I was absolutely ready.

A last look in the entrance mirror to confirm I
was looking perfect, then I took my handbag and
sunglasses, locked the door and walked to the
garage to take my car.

In ten minutes I arrived at the High Street, parked
my car and started my dramatic adventure.
I had chosen seven fashion shops, most suitable
to me, which I was visiting alternatively.

I started following my routine:
I was walking through the whole shop floor,
examining all clothes and choosing all that
I liked.

Then I went to the changing rooms, and took my
time trying them all, checking every detail in the
mirrors around me, and finally choosing the
best to buy.

At the end, I went to the cashier’s counter and
paid for my selected items.

What an exhilarating experience…!
Sometimes, I repeated the whole process at
03:30 in the afternoon, in a different shop.

Those were the days……
Now my life has taken a new turn.
I have stopped shopping, almost completely,
unless I really need something.

 

Red Dress

 

Monkey On Back

 

Shopping is an extremely pleasant and satisfying
experience for many people.

Looking through these aisles full of beautiful
clothes …….. and all the shelves full of exquisite
shoes and handbags …….. trying and buying what you
like, and bring them home …….. taking them out
of their bags, removing the labels and price
tags …….. then trying to find the right storage
place for them ……..
So exciting !!!

Shopping is comforting, soothing, pleasing and
a lot of fun.
It gives you something interesting and entertaining
to do, when you do not work, and it takes your mind
off all other things.

I do like shopping  —  and there had been a few periods
in my life, when I was actually going around shops and

shopping centres every morning buying things.

But shopping can become addictive for many people,
and can cause a lot of problems, not only financial
but also personal and emotional.

Usually it happens when the individual ( mostly
female ) feels stressed, lonely, anxious, depressed, angry,
bored, guilty or fearful.

For the most part what people buy they do not need.
It can be anything, from clothes and accessories to
furniture, kitchen equipment and home decorations.

 

Shopping Women

 

Sweet Tooth

 

Terminating this retail therapy is all about self
control and changing your current circumstanes,
to give yourself a more interesting life.

This means, sit down, think carefully and make a
plan with various alternatives you can introduce
to your every day life.
Some examples are:

1)     Register at a leisure club.
2)     Take volunteer work.
3)     Find a job.
4)     Register at a class of your interest.
5)     Register at a club of your interest.
6)     Change city of living.
7)     Change country of living.
8)     Find a partner if you are alone.
9)     Change your partner if you are not happy.

 

Corset

 

Main Point

 

In the meantime, and until your life is actually
changed, try to keep your spending under control
by writing down all your daily expenses, in
comparison with your income or savings.

Also, try to buy only one item at a time to keep
your costs to a minimum, and still enjoy the experience.

Finally, if you adopt one or more of the above
mentioned suggestions, you will have a goal
to achieve.

This will take your mind off wasting your money
shopping for unnecesary items;
it will improve your emotional state;
and it will enhance your personal relationships.

Taking all the necessary steps will change your
life almost completely.

Take control of yourself and your whole life.

 

 

 

Backbone!

 

Hi there!

 

Bo was working in his office this afternoon when he
received an email from his colleague asking him for
assistance with his project.

As soon as he read this he felt resentful immediately,
since he knew that on the one hand he wanted to
help him, but on the other this would entail extra
time and effort for him.

Thinking more about it, he did not want to accept
this obligation, because it meant he would have to
stay in the office late, and neglect part of his own
commitments.

I have no reason to accept this other than being
helpful to a colleague, something which I can’t
afford to do at the moment he thought.

I have to say No to you this time, because I’m
extremely busy at present and I have no time
to spare for more work.
But I can recommend Jos to you, who will be pleased
to help you with your project .

Bo decided, and replied to his colleague without any
further delay.

Immediately he felt relieved and ready to continue
with his own business.

 

Yellow Flowers

 

Will Power

 

Most people dislike to say NO because they want to
help and be nice to the other person.
But saying yes all or most of the time entails a lot
of unpleasant consequences like,
    loss of valuable time,
    waste a huge amount of mental energy,
*     a great amount of pressure.

All of these result in physical and mental exhaustion.
Yet people find it so very hard to say NO.
This is happening because of many reasons like,
*     they want to avoid any arguments,
*     they want to be polite,
*     they want to fit in with the others,
*     they want to maintain good relationships,
*     they feel guilty if they do not help.

But if you really want to create your own life and
pursue your goals, you do need to be in full
control of all situations around you.

Learning to say NO is the greatest reward you can
give to yourself.
In order to be able to do so, you will need to become
decisive, confident and assertive  —  but at the same
time you must be calm and polite.

Being assertive means you must convey your message,
and at the same time to listen to the other person.
It means sharing and appreciating others.

When you manage this you will increase your
self-confidence, you will become more understanding,
you will improve your self-image and finally you
will achieve very much more.

 

Red Leafs

 

Primary Element

 

Before you decide and turn down any demands
and requests from other people, you need to
evaluate the situation.

Here are the steps you need to take:

a)     Take your time to think all requests made on
you before giving any answer.
Say you will let them know as soon as possible.
Study the demands and make certain they will
fit your own obligations and commitments.

b)     Analyze your priorities, and decide whether
the new engagement is of any significance, relevance
or magnitude to you.
If you find it is of no consequence to you, just ignore it.

c)     Consider the time length the new engagement
will need to be completed.
If it is long term, disregard it, because it will be adding
more stress on you.

d)     Refuse immediately any demand or request,
which makes you feel guilty if you do not do it.
If you accept something under these circumstances
you will feel pressed, stressed, anxious and eventually
really sick.

 

Shrubs

 

Guiding Light

 

There is no perfect way to say NO, and there is also no
way you can ever control the other person’s feelings
and reactions.

The following advice is how to do this best:

a)     Know your value as a person and have the right
attitude, independence and energy.

b)     Stand in a power pose, look calm and assertive,
and be fast and polite.

c)     Communicate your NO decision clearly and firmly,
using simple words.
Do not complicate and over-explain things.

d)     Offer an alternative solution to show your good
will and to meet half way.

e)     If at all possible and you really want to help,
offer a lesser commitment.

Do not forget, you are responsible only for
yourself,
and not for any other person’s feelings
and actions
towards you.

Nothing is perfect, including humans.
Use any criticism for your own growth.

Remember, you can not please everybody.
Never lose your self-worth.

Enjoy the long term benefits of saying NO.