Backbone!

 

 

 

 

Hi there!

 

 

………. Bo was working in his office this afternoon when he received an email from his colleague asking him for assistance with his project.

As soon as he read this, he felt resentful immediately, since he knew that on the one hand he wanted to help him, but on the other this would entail extra time and effort for him.

Thinking more about it, he did not want to accept this obligation, because it meant he would have to stay in the office late, and neglect part of his own commitments.

“ I have no reason to accept this other than being helpful to a colleague, something which I can’t afford to do at the moment “ he thought.

“ I have to say No to you this time, because I’m extremely busy at present, and I have no time to spare for more work.
But I can recommend Josh to you, who will be pleased to help you with your project “.

Bo decided, and replied to his colleague without any further delay.
Immediately, he felt relieved and ready to continue with his own business …………

 

 

Will Power

 

Most people dislike to say NO because they want to help and be nice to the other person.
But saying yes all or most of the time entails a lot of unpleasant consequences, like,

****          loss of valuable time,

****          waste a huge amount of mental energy,

****          a great amount of pressure.

All of these result in physical and mental exhaustion.
Yet people find it so very hard to say NO.

This is happening because of many reasons, like,

****          they want to avoid any arguments,

****          they want to be polite,

****          they want to fit in with the others,

****          they want to maintain good relationships,

****          they feel guilty if they do not help.

But, if you really want to create your own life and pursue your goals, you do need to be in full control of all situations around you.
Learning to say NO is the greatest reward you can give to yourself.

In order to be able to do so, you will need to become decisive, confident, and assertive   —   but, at the same time you must be calm and polite.

Being assertive means you must convey your message, and at the same time to listen to the other person.
It means sharing, and appreciating others.

When you manage this you will increase your self-confidence, you will become more understanding, you will improve your self-image, and finally you will achieve very much more.

 

 

Primary Element

 

Before you decide, and turn down any demands and requests from other people, you need to evaluate the situation.

Here are the steps you need to take:

a)          Take your time to think all requests made on you before giving any answer.
Say you will let them know as soon as possible.
Study the demands, and make certain they will fit your own obligations and commitments.

b)          Analyse your priorities, and decide whether the new engagement is of any significance, relevance, or magnitude to you.
If you find it is of no consequence to you, just ignore it.

c)          Consider the time length the new engagement will need to be completed.
If it is long term, disregard it, because it will be adding more stress on you.

d)          Refuse immediately any demand or request, which makes you feel guilty if you do not do it.
If you accept something under these circumstances, you will feel pressed, stressed, anxious, and eventually really sick.

 

 

Guiding Light

 

There is no perfect way to say NO, and there is also no way you can ever control the other person’s feelings and reactions.

The following advice is how to do this best:

a)          Know your value as a person, and have the right attitude, independence and energy.

b)          Stand in a power pose, look calm and assertive, and be fast and polite.

c)          Communicate your NO decision clearly and firmly, using simple words.
Do not complicate, and over-explain things.

d)          Offer an alternative solution to show your good will, and to meet half way.

e)          If at all possible and you really want to help, offer a lesser commitment.

Do not forget, you are responsible only for yourself, and not for any other person’s feelings and actions towards you.

Nothing is perfect, including humans.
Use any criticism for your own growth.

Remember, you can not please everybody.
Never lose your self-worth.

Enjoy the long term benefits of saying NO.